Episode 22

Looking for “Signs” with Author & Artist, Mitch Carmody – Part II

Published on: 29th October, 2020

The journey of grief is a personal journey, which is different for everyone. Along the way we are all looking for “tools” and bits of wisdom to help us on difficult days and with our journey.

Today, we continue our discussion with Mitch Carmody to talk about some examples of signs. Mitch has been on his journey of grief for almost 33-years, since his son Kelly died. Mitch has had many people share with him the signs they have received on their journeys of grief. 

This episode of “Signs – Part II” will be released on our You Tube Channel (https://bit.ly/HTGPodYouTube) the following week, if you would like to “see” some of these “signs”!

 

We welcome your comments and questions! Send an email to hopethrugrief@gmail.com and please share our show with anyone you know that is struggling with loss and grief. You can find us on the internet to continue the conversation!

 

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Jordan Smelski Foundation: http://www.jordansmelskifoundation.org

 

Tune in for new episodes every Thursday morning wherever you listen to podcasts!

 

Marshall Adler and Steve Smelski, co-hosts of Hope Thru Grief are not medical, or mental health professionals, therefore we cannot and will not give any medical, or mental health advice. If you, or anyone you know needs medical, or mental health treatment, please contact a medical, or mental health professional immediately.

 

Thank you

Marshall Adler

Steve Smelski

Transcript
Steve Smelski:

Hello everyone.

Steve Smelski:

Thank you for joining us to today's episode of Hope Thru Grief.

Steve Smelski:

My name is Steve Smelski.

Steve Smelski:

I'm one of your co-hosts.

Steve Smelski:

I'm here with my good friend and co-host Marshall Adler.

Marshall Adler:

Well, everybody hope everybody's doing very well today,

Steve Smelski:

Today, we're going to do a part two episode up, but they follow

Steve Smelski:

up to our discussion with Mitch Carmody and we had talked about signs and this'll

Steve Smelski:

be the part two for that discussion.

Marshall Adler:

Steve.

Marshall Adler:

I just want to make sure everybody enjoys this part two as much as I

Marshall Adler:

enjoyed part one is fascinating to hear all the different parameters and

Marshall Adler:

different avenues that you can see through the eyes of somebody looking for.

Marshall Adler:

What'd you probably want to look for otherwise.

Marshall Adler:

So I think it was a very interesting and enlightening episode one.

Marshall Adler:

I think episode two will be more interesting and more

Marshall Adler:

fascinating for the audience.

Steve Smelski:

Thank you everyone.

Steve Smelski:

Have a good day and listen to the rest of the episode.

Marshall Adler:

Hope you enjoy it.

MItch Carmody:

Here's a friend.

MItch Carmody:

Uh, Mary Kenyon and I do it for five years that I've been going to a

MItch Carmody:

Dubuque and doing a workshop there.

MItch Carmody:

And, Oh, I have another whole story.

MItch Carmody:

I'd go in to see the Field of Dreams, but I won't go into that.

MItch Carmody:

But cause it was amazing going to Field of Dreams, which is right in the small

MItch Carmody:

town, you know, the Field of Dreams movie, I'll tell you what briefly.

MItch Carmody:

Cause we were at this conference and I said, I got to go see the field of dreams.

MItch Carmody:

I love the whole movie about it was about signs.

MItch Carmody:

It was about speaking about talking to his dad who had died on things

MItch Carmody:

that had unrequited that had not been all this stuff, you know, and

MItch Carmody:

sort of the powerful grief moment.

MItch Carmody:

I loved it when it came out.

MItch Carmody:

And so I got to go there and I want to go, we went Sunday morning.

MItch Carmody:

I said, I want to see the tour.

MItch Carmody:

It was Sunday morning, small town, Wisconsin.

MItch Carmody:

It was closed for church.

MItch Carmody:

You know, so it was closed Sunday morning.

MItch Carmody:

We were driving back from a Duke to, uh, Minnesota and five park, but let's

MItch Carmody:

walk around and see the Field of Dreams.

MItch Carmody:

So we did no one was there.

MItch Carmody:

Then all of a sudden, about six or eight cars come pulling up all these

MItch Carmody:

old farts, get out, dressed in period uniforms and they start playing baseball.

MItch Carmody:

They said, let's play ball.

MItch Carmody:

And my wife goes, are you kidding me?

MItch Carmody:

What is going on?

MItch Carmody:

So we went and asked this guy, what is going on here?

MItch Carmody:

He goes, well, they're closed Sunday mornings.

MItch Carmody:

They let us use the field on Sunday mornings.

MItch Carmody:

And we're just, we're all, all, all bunch of old guys to get together for

MItch Carmody:

a league, but to see them out by the corn in the fall, it was just like, I

MItch Carmody:

mean, I put a picture on Facebook today because it came up, uh, the memory

MItch Carmody:

of four years ago and I put it up on Facebook because this year there was,

MItch Carmody:

they were building a whole new stadium.

MItch Carmody:

Field of Dreams to have,the Yankees and, uh, Red Sox game.

MItch Carmody:

But because of COVID, it was canceled and they're in there.

MItch Carmody:

They're tearing it down, sad enough.

MItch Carmody:

But when we are down and in Iowa, the woman who put the group on, she said,

MItch Carmody:

her grandson had died and they're having a balloon release for her grandson.

MItch Carmody:

And I do sign language a lot.

MItch Carmody:

So she knows I do sign.

MItch Carmody:

And she looked up in the sky at the balloon and the balloon release and the

MItch Carmody:

cloud, just like the sign for, I love you.

MItch Carmody:

And sign language and it looked up and it was, it looks just

MItch Carmody:

like, I love you in a cloud form.

MItch Carmody:

And so it's again, a cloud form and the sign and the signature from the person.

Steve Smelski:

Oh, wow.

MItch Carmody:

This is, uh, again, this is actually Madison, Wisconsin.

MItch Carmody:

And so I was doing a group there and they're talking, they had

MItch Carmody:

a hole in one, a B, excuse me.

MItch Carmody:

They're going to do a best ball tournament to raise funds for the

MItch Carmody:

Capacity of Friends, his son had died and his son Dan had died.

MItch Carmody:

He said, I'll they were golf buddies.

MItch Carmody:

And he said, I'll never golf again.

MItch Carmody:

That was my golf buddy.

MItch Carmody:

I can't enjoy the game without him.

MItch Carmody:

That's why I play.

MItch Carmody:

So I could play with him.

MItch Carmody:

Uh, when he died, he said I gave up golf, but they were doing a fundraiser

MItch Carmody:

for the Compassionate Friends.

MItch Carmody:

And he went, he said, okay, I'll do it for my son.

MItch Carmody:

I wore my son's shoes.

MItch Carmody:

And so I went and we did a balloon release on the shotgun, on the ninth hole and

MItch Carmody:

said, okay, we did a balloon release.

MItch Carmody:

He wrote on the balloon, Stan, if this is real, you give me a sign,

MItch Carmody:

give me a sign in the next hole.

MItch Carmody:

Give me a hole in one

Steve Smelski:

"laughter"

MItch Carmody:

To the next hole.

MItch Carmody:

And he got,

MItch Carmody:

he got a hole in one and he sent me the picture,

Steve Smelski:

Oh wow

MItch Carmody:

shows him with his hole in one and he said I golf all the

MItch Carmody:

time cause I got my golf partner back.

Steve Smelski:

Wow

MItch Carmody:

Life-changing.

Steve Smelski:

That is the next hole after he answer that

Steve Smelski:

? MItch Carmody: The very next hole

Steve Smelski:

impossible that is it'd be hard to get one, the odds are Kenyon Quote.

Steve Smelski:

But actually the ask for one and get one, you know, here's another balloon release.

Steve Smelski:

Balloons are really significant too.

Steve Smelski:

But they, a young couple have died in Madison, Wisconsin.

Steve Smelski:

They were killed a car accident.

Steve Smelski:

They were engaged to be married.

Steve Smelski:

So it was a double funeral, double families.

Steve Smelski:

And so they did this balloon release.

Steve Smelski:

They wrote in the balloon cowboy angels, what they call this couple

Steve Smelski:

until we meet again, show us a sign.

Steve Smelski:

And they did this balloon race, like in Madison.

Steve Smelski:

Then Amy and the girl was Amy whoese was angel.

Steve Smelski:

And so then all of a sudden Amy's mom gets a call eight hours later that

Steve Smelski:

evening and says, what is going on?

Steve Smelski:

I just got a balloon Atlanta to my yard and says, until we

Steve Smelski:

meet again, cowboy and angel.

Steve Smelski:

And it said love on the box.

Steve Smelski:

And she called Amy's.

Steve Smelski:

It was her land and her cousin's yard in green, near Green Bay, 80 miles away

Steve Smelski:

Her cousin's yard?

Steve Smelski:

It landed in her cousin's backyard.

Steve Smelski:

He didn't know anything about the balloon release.

Steve Smelski:

And just said, why is this balloon to my backyard?

Steve Smelski:

Where did it come from?

Steve Smelski:

Of course, When Amy got off the floor and said, are you kidding me?

Steve Smelski:

If we let her balloon release, then it went to Green Bay

Steve Smelski:

and landed in your backyard.

Steve Smelski:

Again, that's why this is in the slide show.

Steve Smelski:

I get this from people that said no one else is going to believe us, but

Steve Smelski:

when you put it all together, yes, it's believable because it happens

Steve Smelski:

all the time in so many fields.

Steve Smelski:

Wow,

MItch Carmody:

And when I talked about license plates, The license plates in

MItch Carmody:

front of me, he says, Maggie in heaven, this woman who had lost her daughter,

MItch Carmody:

Megan, was that a traffic light having a bad you know, you have your bad days,

MItch Carmody:

a bad moments, and you asked for a sign from your, please give me a sign.

MItch Carmody:

And there's something about when you come to a red light.

MItch Carmody:

And you just bang your head on the steering wheel and start crying.

MItch Carmody:

It's just like, like being in the shower or something, you just like,

MItch Carmody:

you feel safe and you just kind of, aarrgh, you know, I don't have to

MItch Carmody:

think about anything for a minute.

MItch Carmody:

I don't have to drive.

MItch Carmody:

I can just crush for a minute and she did that and then when the

MItch Carmody:

light turned green, the car pulled ahead and it says Meg in heaven.

MItch Carmody:

And she said she followed it for about 20 miles.

MItch Carmody:

Pulled into a cul-de-sac and had asked the woman who had lost

MItch Carmody:

her daughter Megan a year prior.

MItch Carmody:

And so now they've become friends.

Steve Smelski:

Oh wow

MItch Carmody:

So those are again, the collaborative blessings that come from

MItch Carmody:

the signs that we don't even anticpate.

Steve Smelski:

Wow.

MItch Carmody:

And this is my friends in Chicago.

MItch Carmody:

There's this, their only daughter, Jessica.

MItch Carmody:

And they were coming home from a conference and they're at the conference

MItch Carmody:

and they, they're not taught this.

MItch Carmody:

And they said, we got to show you a picture, I go what?

MItch Carmody:

They go, we're coming to the conference.

MItch Carmody:

We are, we're always traveled with our daughter, but now we're coming

MItch Carmody:

to a conference and because our daughter has died, our only child

MItch Carmody:

and we had a seat between us and this woman comes and sits down between us.

Steve Smelski:

The one on the right?

Steve Smelski:

Looks like on the right, the one on the right that you see here, Whitney

Steve Smelski:

came down, sat in between them.

Steve Smelski:

And I remember Deb, Debbie, as our friend said, she leaned over and

Steve Smelski:

looked at Lenny and said, Manny don't use scare this young girl.

Steve Smelski:

I can't help that.

Steve Smelski:

And he showed the correct look he had of his daughter and said,

Steve Smelski:

look, honey, listen, look, my girl was about my, she go, I have a.

Steve Smelski:

Vera Bradley purse too.

Steve Smelski:

And I was a snowboarder.

Steve Smelski:

I was in league softball, playing.

Steve Smelski:

I was an accident the same year, but did not die.

Steve Smelski:

They're the same age.

Steve Smelski:

They look almost identical and you can see it in this frame isn't it amazing.

Steve Smelski:

And so I've included this in my slideshow for over eight years and Debbie and Debbie

Steve Smelski:

and Lynn go to the they're probably never moved from Chicago, suburban small

Steve Smelski:

town, Chicago because of the cemeteries, just down the street from their house

Steve Smelski:

when we've gone there, a couple of times we've gone there, you know and I went

Steve Smelski:

down with my brother, my son-in-law.

Steve Smelski:

I had to take them there.

Steve Smelski:

Cause we go to the cemetery.

Steve Smelski:

We go talk to Jess and put Milk Duds and a cream soda on her grave and

Steve Smelski:

Dick the, the, you know, Halloween lights up or whatever it is.

Steve Smelski:

And yeah just like we're doing for a living child with not

Steve Smelski:

weeping or crying is a sad thing.

Steve Smelski:

This is just a celebration thing.

Steve Smelski:

And my son-in-law's thinking we're absolutely out of our minds.

Steve Smelski:

and i say see ya Jess bye bye cuase we'll go see here again and we go.

Steve Smelski:

And they said, we'll never move.

Steve Smelski:

You know, because Jess is always here and that works for them.

Steve Smelski:

That's okay some people think that that is just, you know, and their

Steve Smelski:

house is still filled with Christmas.

Steve Smelski:

You died four days before Christmas.

Steve Smelski:

And so we've been down there many times and all the Christmas stuff is still up.

Steve Smelski:

It works for them.

Steve Smelski:

And my grandchildren loved to go to the Christmas house, you know?

Steve Smelski:

So they go down there and go, it's always Christmas here, you know?

Steve Smelski:

And it's, it's a wonderful thing.

Steve Smelski:

Instead of people will judge that as being wrong or not, right.

Steve Smelski:

Or over the top, or you shouldn't be doing that.

Steve Smelski:

You should clean the room out or whatever, but they did have to clean her bedroom up.

Steve Smelski:

So that my grandchildren can sleep in it.

Steve Smelski:

And they said it was more difficult than they had to do, but probably

Steve Smelski:

the best thing they've done in years.

Steve Smelski:

And they thanked us for actually coming down there.

Steve Smelski:

So all these little magical things that can happen from just from one

Steve Smelski:

doppelganger siding has changed our lives.

Steve Smelski:

It's just as friends.

Steve Smelski:

And so it's wonderful.

Steve Smelski:

And this is an amazing picture.

Steve Smelski:

Isn't it?

Steve Smelski:

Then physical interaction with static objects, things that go bump in the night,

Steve Smelski:

noises, moving objects, missing objects, objects, be appearing reappearing.

Steve Smelski:

You don't hear much about Poltergeist activity anymore because it's much

Steve Smelski:

easier to send a butterfly or a dragon fly or a rRed Tail Hawk than

Steve Smelski:

it is to knock a pan off the wall.

Steve Smelski:

Uh, but no one had believed in that stuff before.

Steve Smelski:

So sometimes go ahead.

Steve Smelski:

Yeah.

Steve Smelski:

So right after Jordan died, He used to wake up with nightmares

Steve Smelski:

the last two, couple of years, almost every single night.

Steve Smelski:

So I get up and knock on our door.

Steve Smelski:

I take him back to bed.

Steve Smelski:

Sometimes he'd go back before I got in there and he was already asleep.

Steve Smelski:

So I'd lay there for half an hour until I got sleepy and then go back to bed.

Steve Smelski:

Well, we have his dog sleeps in her bed, little Jasmine.

Steve Smelski:

She's a four pound blue Chihuahua and she's our guard dog.

Steve Smelski:

She watched it shared perfect hearing.

Steve Smelski:

I say for the first six months, almost every night, there was some type of

Steve Smelski:

noise and it sounded like something fell off the counter onto the floor.

Steve Smelski:

I get up.

Steve Smelski:

I go.

Steve Smelski:

And the first night I took a baseball bat with me.

Steve Smelski:

I didn't know who was in there.

Steve Smelski:

And it was so loud.

Steve Smelski:

She'll go, Steve, there's somebody in the house.

Steve Smelski:

So I get up, I grabbed the bat from my closet and I walked into the bathroom.

Steve Smelski:

Turn the light on there's nobody there there's nothing on the floor.

Steve Smelski:

There's nothing that fell over.

Steve Smelski:

And you would've swore somebody made a noise.

Steve Smelski:

So after about two weeks of this, I was getting tired of getting up every

Steve Smelski:

night and I finally quit taking the bat and finally Jaz would get up.

Steve Smelski:

She growled, she looked down the hallway at the bathroom sheet.

Steve Smelski:

she, "growling noises" I go Jaz it's just Jordan, go back to sleep.

Steve Smelski:

So we continue to hear it.

Steve Smelski:

After about two months, she quit.

Steve Smelski:

She we heard it she'd look and she didn't grow anymore.

Steve Smelski:

And we had that all the time.

MItch Carmody:

Wow.

MItch Carmody:

And I've heard a lot of animals will recognize spirit where others, where

MItch Carmody:

even humans don't, but a lot of animals you see in barking in a corner

MItch Carmody:

of a room or scratching at our door

Marshall Adler:

We think that right

MItch Carmody:

and chase, our cat will be chasing something in the room.

MItch Carmody:

You don't see, uh, that happens a lot too, you know, the, um electrical devices yes

Steve Smelski:

Marshall's got a few of these.

Marshall Adler:

So we've, we've had a lot of these, we.

Marshall Adler:

We had a number of articles in the paper about Matt.

Marshall Adler:

I did a prior, um, podcasts about Matt's passing and there was a write-up in the

Marshall Adler:

paper here in Orlando on a Sunday morning.

Marshall Adler:

And Debbie's got a lamp on her credenza near, uh, the it side of the bed.

Marshall Adler:

And she comes out when I'm reading the article about podcast, about Matt,

Marshall Adler:

she goes, you got to come in here.

Marshall Adler:

And the lamp at a new bulb in the lamp never had a short and Debbie goes, this

Marshall Adler:

is like you remember that old commercial, the clapper light , like you clap and go

Marshall Adler:

on and off this, this wasn't a clapper lied and she goes, I think this is Matt.

Marshall Adler:

I go, what do you mean?

Marshall Adler:

She goes, talk to it.

Marshall Adler:

So the lights on and I go, Matt, is that you?

Marshall Adler:

This was the morning that there was a article.

Marshall Adler:

It was on the front of the editorial page of Orlando Sentinel.

Marshall Adler:

Very prominent article about this podcast.

Marshall Adler:

And I go, man, is that you in a light, started flashing and then it stopped.

Marshall Adler:

And we look at this, can we go, are you with Pop and Mamie?

Marshall Adler:

That was his grandparents, my parents, it was flashing on and off.

Marshall Adler:

Then, as I mentioned, Matt and my mother died within two days of each other,

Marshall Adler:

then my best friend from Buffalo of 50 years and knew Matt really well because

Marshall Adler:

when we went to Buffalo Bill's game in Buffalo, we'd bring Matt and see him.

Marshall Adler:

He knew my parents thought I was 12 years old.

Marshall Adler:

He passed a few weeks after my mother and Matt did so on the anniversary

Marshall Adler:

of Matt's death it's for Jewish.

Marshall Adler:

You do what's called a Yahzeit Candle.

Marshall Adler:

It's a Memorial candle that goes on for a, uh, 24 hours.

Marshall Adler:

We actually went to Israel and we lit it on the Mediterranean

Marshall Adler:

coast, right in Tel Aviv.

Marshall Adler:

But we went to the wailing wall and I put prayer notes for my mother, my father,

Marshall Adler:

my son, Matt, my friend, Ted, because they were all connected to each other.

Marshall Adler:

So I asked the lamp, Iare you with Ted also.

Marshall Adler:

It was going on and off.

Marshall Adler:

And we were looking at this thing saying it's not a clapper

Marshall Adler:

cause a new bulb in there.

Marshall Adler:

And we had this conversation.

Marshall Adler:

I wish we were smart enough to have a cell phone recorded, but we were

Marshall Adler:

just so like your jaw drops and we had a multiple times, like this is.

Marshall Adler:

HIs Cousin Russell was like our third son.

Marshall Adler:

He lived with us for years.

Marshall Adler:

He lives in Alabama now.

Marshall Adler:

And the first thing is giving after Matt's passing, he came for the

Marshall Adler:

holidays and we told a lot of these things with the lights and everything.

Marshall Adler:

And he goes well, are, was screwed with music and screw with us tonight.

Marshall Adler:

Cause Matt was just a really funny kid and I go, he might, who knows.

Marshall Adler:

So Russell goes to sleep.

Marshall Adler:

And I'm in the kitchen area going ready to go to sleep.

Marshall Adler:

And there's a, I know the circuits in the house because the circuit breakers, you

Marshall Adler:

know, here, the thunderstorms, the circuit breakers, always switching and switch

Marshall Adler:

them on, switch them off to get power back on and the kitchen lights and the lights

Marshall Adler:

that are not the same circuit breaker.

Marshall Adler:

And excuse me they are on the same circuit breakers.

Marshall Adler:

Whenever they go out, they go out together.

Marshall Adler:

So we go to sleep and turn the lights off and the lights in the

Marshall Adler:

kitchen, just start, come on.

Marshall Adler:

And I called Russell and my son, David and my wife and the four

Marshall Adler:

of us were in the kitchen and the lights went on and off four times.

Marshall Adler:

But the light in the family room, which is on the same circuit breaker didn't.

Marshall Adler:

And we're going to either have to both be going on or not going on.

Marshall Adler:

They can't be dependent on the same circuit breaker.

Marshall Adler:

And then this past week, we have a hallway where we come in through

Marshall Adler:

the house, not through the front door that come through the garage.

Marshall Adler:

And it's been months now where there's two lights in the ceiling and we'll just Deb

Marshall Adler:

will say, hi, Matt, how are you doing?

Marshall Adler:

Got a picture of me out there.

Marshall Adler:

And the light will go on and off.

Marshall Adler:

And, you know, if the filament was burning out, this would have burned

Marshall Adler:

out months ago, but it doesn't.

Marshall Adler:

And my son David came home on last Friday and when he came in, the light was off.

Marshall Adler:

Entirely off it wasn't on.

Marshall Adler:

And we were just talking away from the on, off switch.

Marshall Adler:

No, nobody was near the on, off switch and it just went on and we

Marshall Adler:

all looked at this, like just the three of us were here, the dogs over

Marshall Adler:

there, nobody bumped into the switch.

Marshall Adler:

We were not close to the switch and it went on and he goes, it's gotta be Matt.

Marshall Adler:

And then when he was leaving on Monday morning, It went on and off

Marshall Adler:

as he was walking out the door.

Marshall Adler:

And I know this house, he lives this house 23 years.

Marshall Adler:

None of these things happened with the electrical issues.

Marshall Adler:

You mentioned about the things falling.

Marshall Adler:

There was a time where there was a picture of Debbie, actually.

Marshall Adler:

That was my wife, Matt's mother and a bookcase behind a book or something.

Marshall Adler:

It was just stick way back there.

Marshall Adler:

And David was home and he heard something fall and he saw the picture

Marshall Adler:

on the ground and we're going, how in the world did that happen?

Marshall Adler:

It was behind something.

Marshall Adler:

It wasn't loose and it was just inexplicable and then maybe the same

Marshall Adler:

nights for very short time later.

Marshall Adler:

Our dog went to Matt's room and just put her head like in the corner, it was just

Marshall Adler:

barking at something in the corner of his room, which she's she's 10 years old.

Marshall Adler:

She never did that.

Marshall Adler:

And was saying all these things together.

Marshall Adler:

None of these things happened before and especially the electrical stuff.

Marshall Adler:

It just, it doesn't make sense from a electrical outlet standpoint, because if

Marshall Adler:

it's a short, it should happen or if it's a fit, you know, the filaments going.

Marshall Adler:

Burning out.

Marshall Adler:

It'll burn out this been going on for months.

Marshall Adler:

It doesn't burn out.

Marshall Adler:

And it's just these bizarre things is, Oh, it's just one little thing, but it happens

Marshall Adler:

time and time and time and time again.

MItch Carmody:

Do you always say hi, Matt when it happens?

Marshall Adler:

Yeah.

Marshall Adler:

Debbie does she?

Marshall Adler:

There's a picture of Matt.

Marshall Adler:

Yeah.

Marshall Adler:

She always says that.

Marshall Adler:

Yeah, she does.

Marshall Adler:

And then it's like, we, we, we get a responsive

MItch Carmody:

on/off

MItch Carmody:

well, in fact, a woman, uh, just yesterday, uh, uh, uh, there's a group

MItch Carmody:

of parents helping parents heal and they talk a lot about signs where other

MItch Carmody:

groups don't talk about it as much and their was CA conference was canceled

MItch Carmody:

too, but, um, she sent me a picture.

MItch Carmody:

She said, Mitch, what do you think of this?

MItch Carmody:

And, and she has an outdoor nightlight that was just blinking on and off

MItch Carmody:

underneath there, a castor bean plant.

MItch Carmody:

And she said, she's said Casey.

MItch Carmody:

Is that you our daughter that died?

MItch Carmody:

Casey, is that you, then it would blink and she goes seriously,

MItch Carmody:

if that's you blink twice.

MItch Carmody:

Blink blink.

MItch Carmody:

Yeah.

MItch Carmody:

And she has a movie of it.

MItch Carmody:

She posted on Facebook yesterday and I wrote her back and I said,

MItch Carmody:

you know, well, that's wonderful.

MItch Carmody:

Yes, it's underneath the castor bean.

MItch Carmody:

And the castor beans is Palm of the Christie.

MItch Carmody:

It's that the Palm of Christ.

MItch Carmody:

And I mean, there's a lot of other symbolism.

MItch Carmody:

I look at everything when I see where it happens, why it happens.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, and I was at a call, my son, Kasey, like , you spell it.

MItch Carmody:

KASEY.

MItch Carmody:

Her daughter was named and I want to call him Casey.

MItch Carmody:

And then another woman who saw the post, she goes, well, My initials are Casey too.

MItch Carmody:

And she goes, I'm waiting for a sign for so long.

MItch Carmody:

So three of us got assigned just from them sharing that blinking light sign.

Marshall Adler:

Whoa

MItch Carmody:

And I told her be sure if you ever see the mood of the book, I've

MItch Carmody:

got the book it's called Thy Son Liveth.

MItch Carmody:

And there's a movie with Sarah um, uh, Sarah Surandon I think in it, but it

MItch Carmody:

was a written by a woman in the 1800's.

MItch Carmody:

No, not 1800 during World War I . Her son was in war and World War

MItch Carmody:

I , but before he went, they lived on the East coast of Maine, I think.

MItch Carmody:

And, and he used, they used to mom, they both, mom and son would practice with

MItch Carmody:

those , those lantern things that do the lights, you don't like to use other shifts

MItch Carmody:

for the code Morse code with lights.

MItch Carmody:

And so they all, they both knew to do Morse code and then he went into

MItch Carmody:

the service because he knew that and he'd be got, he went and, you know,

MItch Carmody:

in the Navy and he was Morse code guy on the ship with the lights.

MItch Carmody:

And he was in over in, uh, uh, in the, in the european theater.

MItch Carmody:

And you don't hear news back as much.

MItch Carmody:

And the lighthouse in Harbor start blinking.

MItch Carmody:

And to the mom and she goes, she goes, Oh my God.

MItch Carmody:

And she started writing the blinking down because it looks like

MItch Carmody:

words cause she knew Morrse code.

MItch Carmody:

And it was, she wrote a whole book from person the war saying how it was during

MItch Carmody:

the war that he's over there helping.

MItch Carmody:

He goes into the trenches to warm up the soldiers that need some help.

MItch Carmody:

And he's involved in the war.

MItch Carmody:

I mean this whole thing.

MItch Carmody:

And, and, and, and I love the, the most important phrase I love in the book.

MItch Carmody:

Was it, it said my mom or his mom asked him, well, what's it like to die, honey?

MItch Carmody:

I miss you so much.

MItch Carmody:

He goes, mom, it's like a jump school, boy jumping out the school

MItch Carmody:

door on the last day of school.

MItch Carmody:

That's the best the fascination I ever heard.

MItch Carmody:

You know?

Marshall Adler:

Wow

MItch Carmody:

And so it's a really good book to look the sun limit.

MItch Carmody:

That's all written by, I mean, a long time ago and there's before anything,

MItch Carmody:

but he talked about signs and again, the movie is really good too, but.

MItch Carmody:

Okay.

MItch Carmody:

What was your, go ahead

Marshall Adler:

You mentioned movies because Matt was a genius

Marshall Adler:

when it came to movies, he was living in California because he

Marshall Adler:

wanted to start his movie career.

Marshall Adler:

And so when I did his eulogy, half the people at the funeral were

Marshall Adler:

Matt's friends, but half the people were, our friends never met Matt.

Marshall Adler:

So I had to put a lot of movie quotes into the eulogy to really give

Marshall Adler:

people a sense of what Matt was like.

Marshall Adler:

And one of the movies that I used was ghost with Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze.

Marshall Adler:

And the last scene where he's going to the other side I put in there is

Marshall Adler:

the quote that he said is that the loving side, you take it with you.

Marshall Adler:

So.

Marshall Adler:

I use it in the eulogy, the Jewish religion, somebody passes, you Shiva

Marshall Adler:

, but you have people come over and it's very helpful, which obviously now during

Marshall Adler:

the pandemic we can't do, which makes grief so difficult now, but eventually

Marshall Adler:

people leave and we had people coming in relatives and family and friends.

Marshall Adler:

And after the first night after they all left is when reality

Marshall Adler:

is because you're on your own.

Marshall Adler:

And, you know, we've got direct TV, we've got a million different

Marshall Adler:

channels and that'd be just as I'm going to go back and watch TV.

Marshall Adler:

And she just turns on TV and comes running out.

Marshall Adler:

She goes, you got to see this.

Marshall Adler:

I go, what?

Marshall Adler:

And they just started the movie.

Marshall Adler:

She just happened to turn the TV on what channel was, I don't even know.

Marshall Adler:

And it was Ghost.

Marshall Adler:

You know, it was like, it was the first time we were alone was the

Marshall Adler:

first time Debbie turned the TV on to watch and he thinks this Matt pass.

Marshall Adler:

She goes, are you kidding me?

Marshall Adler:

So we just said, just sat and watched it.

Marshall Adler:

It just started a watch.

Marshall Adler:

The whole thing and here we go.

Marshall Adler:

This was the first of many, many signs that we saw, but that was the movie that I

Marshall Adler:

use in the eulogy , you mentioned movies.

Marshall Adler:

And then the first time he turned TV on boom.

Marshall Adler:

And that was, that was 1990.

MItch Carmody:

Yes.

MItch Carmody:

I remember it came out.

MItch Carmody:

I was, I was briefed at the time.

MItch Carmody:

And any movie that hit me, that was for the brief.

MItch Carmody:

That was one of them too.

MItch Carmody:

Yeah.

MItch Carmody:

Oh my gosh.

MItch Carmody:

Um, okay.

MItch Carmody:

Should we let's move on to a shot.

MItch Carmody:

Well, cell phone, um, Like a lot of people get signs on their cell phones or now

MItch Carmody:

people are getting texting before this.

MItch Carmody:

I don't know if there was even much texting when I got, when Shawn's dad

MItch Carmody:

gave me this, uh, slide, but, uh, Sean died in a car accident and they

MItch Carmody:

kept the service up on his phone.

MItch Carmody:

So they could still hear his buddies from college, say, how are you doing, dude?

MItch Carmody:

You know?

MItch Carmody:

So they had the big guy for me and, you know, just college kids are college kids

MItch Carmody:

until, and they kept the service up.

MItch Carmody:

They could still hear his voice.

MItch Carmody:

Well, one day.

MItch Carmody:

The phone rang and he picked it up and he said, well, the elder was white.

MItch Carmody:

This phone number looks familiar, but it's all static.

MItch Carmody:

There's nobody on it.

MItch Carmody:

And then she's screaming.

MItch Carmody:

She goes, well, that's Shawn's phone.

MItch Carmody:

And they ran upstairs to his bedroom and you can go slip the slide.

MItch Carmody:

His cell phone dialed out at 1201 into their house phone at 1201.

MItch Carmody:

And he he's an engineer.

MItch Carmody:

He calls Sprint ATT and T-Mobile.

MItch Carmody:

Well, he called everybody could find out, they said, this is not a butt dial.

MItch Carmody:

This is not, this can't happen.

MItch Carmody:

Sitting static in a cradle.

MItch Carmody:

And he says, well, it did.

MItch Carmody:

And he got it he's got up and spot spoken that Tip Compassion Friends

MItch Carmody:

when he's done with the crowd.

MItch Carmody:

Cause it's, it changed his life, you know?

Steve Smelski:

hmmmm, Wow.

MItch Carmody:

And now we talk about orbs because orbs are the balls of light.

MItch Carmody:

You're familiar with Mark.

MItch Carmody:

You've heard of orbs.

MItch Carmody:

They're a ball of light that shows up in photographs and here, Alan

MItch Carmody:

Peterson's wife took this picture of a bereaved moms group that she was doing.

MItch Carmody:

And she said, and she took a picture of everybody.

MItch Carmody:

I saw all the pictures about three or four pictures in a row, nothing

MItch Carmody:

except for when she said now, like the candles and say your child's name.

MItch Carmody:

And they all said their child's name and boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

MItch Carmody:

All these orbs showed up in the picture.

MItch Carmody:

And so it's good to look retrospective at pictures.

MItch Carmody:

A lot of wedding pictures are, are thrown out from there because there's

MItch Carmody:

white orbs in them or something.

MItch Carmody:

And that's a loved one that's that should have been at the wedding and show up.

MItch Carmody:

And, but yet people don't recognize it as, as that.

MItch Carmody:

But as a default, but it happens a lot.

MItch Carmody:

I'll show you another one here.

MItch Carmody:

Oh, wow.

MItch Carmody:

That's obviously in Florida, again, doing a, uh, there's another group called

MItch Carmody:

The Afterlife Awareness Conference, a conference, and they it's all

MItch Carmody:

psychics and I was asked to speak and I was doing grief work, but it's

MItch Carmody:

like, that was the fact it's solver.

MItch Carmody:

Mark Nelson is in a center here is a national psychic, and he was doing

MItch Carmody:

readings for the people in the room.

MItch Carmody:

And if you could see here, everybody in the room that was going to get a reading

MItch Carmody:

at arms around them, and this guy was incredible, but no one, I just saw these.

MItch Carmody:

When I went home, I wanted to get a picture of him and I saw all the

MItch Carmody:

people, almost everybody has orb, right by them waiting for a reading.

MItch Carmody:

Then the next picture is I'm at a conference in the 2010 or 11 at

MItch Carmody:

compassionate friends in Minnesota.

MItch Carmody:

And someone sent this picture to me, cause I always talk about the orbs

MItch Carmody:

i get and Kelly's color was purple.

MItch Carmody:

We sat up 300, some purple balloons to have at his funeral

MItch Carmody:

because we didn't have a burial.

MItch Carmody:

We sent his ashes to Hawaii and we just let off balloons and purple balloons.

MItch Carmody:

And so at that conference, I wore a purple bandana with purple Chuck Taylor's, uh,

MItch Carmody:

purple tie purple shirt, and there's purple orbs shows up above my head that

MItch Carmody:

someone sent to me and they said, Kelly's right up on stage with you, you know?

MItch Carmody:

And it's so nice to get that.

MItch Carmody:

Cause I didn't know where I would have never known if someone

MItch Carmody:

hadn't taken that picture and known that I'd love to see that.

MItch Carmody:

Wow, that's great.

MItch Carmody:

So Halon embodied him, and this is we're getting a physical, physical interaction

MItch Carmody:

using humans and other life forms.

MItch Carmody:

And we know energy, whether it's electrical or doorbell

MItch Carmody:

or energy never dies.

MItch Carmody:

It just trans transformed into something else.

MItch Carmody:

So it's easy to see why electricity is used, but animals are living.

MItch Carmody:

We have an energy, we have electricity that runs our heart.

MItch Carmody:

And so we're, we're connected energy.

MItch Carmody:

So it's very, it's.

MItch Carmody:

It's not a far stretch.

MItch Carmody:

I think we can.

MItch Carmody:

These animals come up all the time, whether it's butter, butterflies,

MItch Carmody:

dragonflies, ladybugs, eagles, hawks, doves, cats, dogs, whatever.

MItch Carmody:

I mean, there's so many different ways, but these are the most common

MItch Carmody:

ones and Cardinals, the red Cardinal.

MItch Carmody:

It's huge for so many people that never get signed or didn't believe

MItch Carmody:

in sign, get the Red Cardinal, you know, incarnate goes back to Latin

MItch Carmody:

meaning hinge and why they call the Cardinals, the hinge of the church.

MItch Carmody:

And, you know, so it goes way back that the Cardinals have been assigned

MItch Carmody:

for that hinge between our two worlds.

Steve Smelski:

We had a couple instances where we had the hummingbirds come around.

MItch Carmody:

Oh yes.

MItch Carmody:

Yeah.

MItch Carmody:

How many birds are a great tool.

MItch Carmody:

Yes.

MItch Carmody:

And multiple hummingbirds sometimes, which are rare or how many bird to come

MItch Carmody:

and sit in, which is really rare too.

MItch Carmody:

And so, yeah, I've had a lot of hummingbird signs.

Steve Smelski:

But they hardly ever stay or stay still.

Steve Smelski:

We're always moving somewhere.

MItch Carmody:

No, until you see them

MItch Carmody:

. Steve Smelski: I was out front.

MItch Carmody:

I was doing something in the yard.

MItch Carmody:

It was a couple months after Jordan died.

MItch Carmody:

One came up over the roof of the garage, came down to about my eye level.

MItch Carmody:

It was about 35, 40 feet away.

MItch Carmody:

And it just sat there, hovering in the air, looking at me and right

MItch Carmody:

down in front of it where the red flowers, I planted the red flowers.

MItch Carmody:

So they would come and it it seemed like it was 10 or 15 seconds that it was my eye

MItch Carmody:

level looking right at me, just hovering.

MItch Carmody:

And then it went down to the flowers.

MItch Carmody:

And it came back up and it just sat there looking at me and it went back the way

MItch Carmody:

it came over the roof of the garage.

MItch Carmody:

I had to swap it chills.

MItch Carmody:

I know if you plant it, he will come.

MItch Carmody:

It's like the dream, you know, believe in at plant.

MItch Carmody:

And yes, I mean, I quit cutting milkweeds in my garden and the farm.

MItch Carmody:

I nurtured them, my miracle grow them.

MItch Carmody:

They got sixth street hall, so I could draw, uh, you know, I'll tell you

MItch Carmody:

my , butterfly story coming up here.

MItch Carmody:

That's right here.

MItch Carmody:

Perfect timing.

MItch Carmody:

Luke's was my, this is my picture of my niece and her husband and their son,

MItch Carmody:

Luke 28 years old had taken his life.

MItch Carmody:

He'd had some issues with depression through his life, a real loner.

MItch Carmody:

They lived out in the country.

MItch Carmody:

He had his own like five acres of, they call it Luke's woods.

MItch Carmody:

And so he hunted there kind of introvert.

MItch Carmody:

So he built a tree houses when he's growing up.

MItch Carmody:

And then it was his area where he just felt the best.

MItch Carmody:

And, and so they put a big sign ups that this Luke's woods after he died.

MItch Carmody:

And I couldn't go to the funeral, I was speaking somewhere and I went up there.

MItch Carmody:

Like almost a month later, which sometimes is really a blessing.

MItch Carmody:

You can show them a month later when all the other stuff has happened, you

MItch Carmody:

know, they've gone through all that.

MItch Carmody:

And the shock has worn a little better.

MItch Carmody:

They're trying to make due with so many people giving you, uh, uh, so

MItch Carmody:

much support that can be overwhelming.

MItch Carmody:

So we had, I said, we talking around the edges, we didn't sit,

MItch Carmody:

talk grief stuff right away.

MItch Carmody:

I'm a grief guy, but we, my cousin, I said, let's go, let's go for a walk.

MItch Carmody:

I'm going to see Luke's woods.

MItch Carmody:

So we go walking through the woods and walk into the woods and,

MItch Carmody:

and she said, um, I said, do you ever get these signs from Luke?

MItch Carmody:

She goes, monarchs, monarchs all the time.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, Oh my God.

MItch Carmody:

Oh, I, I, in fact, I said, I have a Monarch at home on the farm that I

MItch Carmody:

brought in I showed the picture of it here on the screen that I picked her

MItch Carmody:

up on a slide, which didn't show up.

MItch Carmody:

But I mean, I had gotten this caterpillar inside and I saw him the first time I

MItch Carmody:

ever see a caterpillar spin his cacoon.

MItch Carmody:

I mean, it's cocoon or Chrysalis in a matter of minutes, I

MItch Carmody:

thought that took him forever.

MItch Carmody:

They just turn their skin inside out, almost informed his cocoon or Chrysalis.

MItch Carmody:

So I saw him actually formed this Chrysalis and then it, it,

MItch Carmody:

again, it turned that beautiful turquoise and the gold dots on it.

MItch Carmody:

And, and then, but it was during this color, it was completely transparent.

MItch Carmody:

You can see the orange, no black.

MItch Carmody:

And I go, Oh my God.

MItch Carmody:

I want to see it come up so bad.

MItch Carmody:

But I got to go drive two hours up to now, then Minnesota, and to see, look to it.

MItch Carmody:

So I spent the time up there.

MItch Carmody:

So we're up at Luke's and she says the Monarch and reminded me, you know,

MItch Carmody:

so we talk, we have a good talk that I'm kind of anxious to get going,

MItch Carmody:

because I want to see my Monarch come out.I've been waiting for a long time.

MItch Carmody:

And so I said, we got to go on.

MItch Carmody:

I went home and I get home and get the house and go run in.

MItch Carmody:

There is the Monarch on the floor.

MItch Carmody:

I miss it coming out.

MItch Carmody:

It was wet, you know, and I said, okay, I'll take it outside.

MItch Carmody:

That could be a piece of paper, picked it up and gingerly put on the desk.

MItch Carmody:

And then I'm thinking about, well, we'll just stop at Luke's woods.

MItch Carmody:

And he gets monarchs.

MItch Carmody:

And when Luke was a kid, He was, I used to kid him all the time.

MItch Carmody:

You know, Luke use the force, you know, as he got older, he gets all,

MItch Carmody:

you know, Oh, we'll get counted out.

MItch Carmody:

Star Wars is over.

MItch Carmody:

Yeah.

MItch Carmody:

A little, you know, but I it's, it's an adult got irritated when I would

MItch Carmody:

say, Luke, use the force .So anyway, I know that would irritate him.

MItch Carmody:

And I see there's butterfly sitting there and on the deck and I said,

MItch Carmody:

okay, Luke, use the force and you crawl up my tennis shoes my Chuck

MItch Carmody:

Taylor's I had on, and you crawl up my leg and you landed on my shoulder.

MItch Carmody:

I got in within seconds.

MItch Carmody:

He'd crawled over to my tennis shoe crawl, all the way up

MItch Carmody:

my leg landed on my shoulder.

MItch Carmody:

And another butterfly came.

MItch Carmody:

And landed on this shoulder and I have that picture, but on their butt.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, Oh my God, I can't.

MItch Carmody:

And people said, Oh my God, I've taught, how can a butterfly listen to you?

MItch Carmody:

It's only got a brain of a head of a pin.

MItch Carmody:

I said, I know that's the magic of it.

MItch Carmody:

They have to brain a size of a pin.

MItch Carmody:

And you know, but Luke use that embodiment of that butterfly to

MItch Carmody:

crawl up on land on my shoulder.

MItch Carmody:

And they say, well, that must've been Kelly landed on your other shoulder.

MItch Carmody:

I said no, I'm Kelly doesn't usually use butterflies.

MItch Carmody:

That was Raymond.

MItch Carmody:

And I know Raymond is a friend of mine, son, Ron, in Texas who gets penguin signs.

MItch Carmody:

And I was wearing a t-shirt that Raymond had sent me and said,

MItch Carmody:

it's all about love and penguins.

MItch Carmody:

And I happen to be wearing it that day.

MItch Carmody:

You probably saw it in the pictures.

MItch Carmody:

And so that was Raymond shirt.

MItch Carmody:

And I've got, I'll talk a little bit more about Raymond later on, but if we

MItch Carmody:

talk depending much about a visitation earlier, so let's move past this great.

Steve Smelski:

Oh, wow.

MItch Carmody:

But an apparition, this is a picture that someone sent

MItch Carmody:

me a little girl was killed in Canada, got her picture to the left and

MItch Carmody:

she's in a white dress and a young, she was killed abducted from school.

MItch Carmody:

They didn't know where the buckle they were, but they caught the people

MItch Carmody:

and said, I don't know where it is.

MItch Carmody:

And we buried it.

MItch Carmody:

And.

MItch Carmody:

And, uh, they had a Memorial service for her.

MItch Carmody:

Well, during the Memorial service, they discovered the body underneath the

MItch Carmody:

chapeau bed of leaves in rigormortis.

MItch Carmody:

And that at the same time at the Memorial service, this picture showed

MItch Carmody:

up in one of those throwaway cameras of this young girl dressed in a pink gown.

MItch Carmody:

And almost in a rigormortis position.

MItch Carmody:

And just, it's amazing.

MItch Carmody:

This is the only one that I see you can actually, if you see this, you

MItch Carmody:

can see through her, the doorframe through her arm, she's solid over the,

MItch Carmody:

over the virus fingers from the wall.

MItch Carmody:

So it's really uncanny.

MItch Carmody:

And it was just a young 16 year old girl.

MItch Carmody:

I took it from a throwaway camera at the Memorial and she goes, my

MItch Carmody:

mom thought you'd probably like it.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, yeah, I, this is amazing, you know, and this is so let's

MItch Carmody:

just, I may have another apparition picture, but I think this is maybe

MItch Carmody:

it, yes, it shows up a young boy showed up and the window sale, like.

MItch Carmody:

Behind this, her sister graduated.

MItch Carmody:

He had died a year earlier.

MItch Carmody:

She was going to the graduation again, tent spirits, like to

MItch Carmody:

be around family events and his image showed up in the window.

MItch Carmody:

He always wore those cutoff t-shirts and you know, your child's silhouette.

MItch Carmody:

You don't know what they look like in the mindset.

MItch Carmody:

Oh my God.

MItch Carmody:

That is, I can't remember his name, but that's him.

MItch Carmody:

And there was nothing there.

MItch Carmody:

It was just in the window behind on her graduation.

Steve Smelski:

Wow.

Steve Smelski:

That's cool.

Steve Smelski:

Ooh, wow.

MItch Carmody:

And then angels that people just take that and it looked like angels.

MItch Carmody:

This could be a flash from something I don't know, but they were planting

MItch Carmody:

a Memorial garden for one of those angel a hopes and they were planting,

MItch Carmody:

uh, flowers around the garden.

MItch Carmody:

And this picture of an angel, it looks.

MItch Carmody:

Just looks like it's looking at them, planting seeds, you know,

MItch Carmody:

and it's just another cool, another cool picture to share.

MItch Carmody:

Uh, the got another angel one picture they sent me, these boys

MItch Carmody:

were looking up at a bird in a tree and they saw this mist come up.

MItch Carmody:

That looked like an angel.

MItch Carmody:

Wow.

MItch Carmody:

Look at that.

MItch Carmody:

And someone took the picture of it.

MItch Carmody:

Still.

MItch Carmody:

Not sure what it is, but, um, And this and this Marshall is

MItch Carmody:

what really got me started.

MItch Carmody:

Because when I wrote my book Letters to my Son and I wrote, uh, Kelly in

MItch Carmody:

February, gimme something growing in the yard that I'll know what you.

MItch Carmody:

And I, I said earlier, corn stock grew up in our yard.

MItch Carmody:

Well, actually three corn stocks grew up in our yard and a perfect

MItch Carmody:

triangle pointing Southwest.

MItch Carmody:

And I'm looking at putting things together.

MItch Carmody:

And Southwest is where we had the miracle healing in Mexico.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, that's Kelly just saying.

MItch Carmody:

Thank you dad for Mexico.

MItch Carmody:

And, and I thought, Oh my God, getting porn in him pointing an arrow.

MItch Carmody:

I I'm sad.

MItch Carmody:

I thank you, Kelly.

MItch Carmody:

Um, growing in the yards in America, anyway, I asked him for it, but then

MItch Carmody:

my daughter comes home with school.

MItch Carmody:

She's in fourth grade, brings home a book called the Three Corn Stocks.

MItch Carmody:

It was about to say it's a sacred symbol of Mexico.

MItch Carmody:

So again, I was validated and I was fine with that.

MItch Carmody:

But then on December, first on his angel day, his first one, that

MItch Carmody:

first horrible one where it becomes.

MItch Carmody:

So real, because now you're starting to live memories of the death and

MItch Carmody:

not dying and prior to, so it's a whole new, uh, memory base and.

MItch Carmody:

Again, have, have to remind you how awful that day is.

MItch Carmody:

But learning doff came and flew at our glass sliding

MItch Carmody:

door and I was looking at it.

MItch Carmody:

So I go, what is it?

MItch Carmody:

And it's snow in Minnesota.

MItch Carmody:

And I didn't see a morning dog that late in the year before I opened the door

MItch Carmody:

and it looked at me and I went outside and it's kept walking away from me.

MItch Carmody:

So I followed it in my bathroom and I walked out and it flew over the cornstalk

MItch Carmody:

that was in the snow and all the three-quarters knocks and now had died.

MItch Carmody:

And one was Lane's though.

MItch Carmody:

And I looked at it, there's all is left.

MItch Carmody:

It's like, okay, what am I supposed to look at?

MItch Carmody:

And I never would have gone up there unless this morning

MItch Carmody:

Dog had come to the door.

MItch Carmody:

So I went over there and I pulled the corn stock up.

MItch Carmody:

And on the corn stock was one corn as big as my baby finger.

MItch Carmody:

And when I pulled the horn, it was back, was all moldy and black.

MItch Carmody:

And I thought, I'll just gonna throw this.

MItch Carmody:

And I looked at the Haas in ahead.

MItch Carmody:

It stayed in the back of the husk capital D capital a.

MItch Carmody:

Low smaller font, capital D on the end clearly says dad in ink influence molding.

MItch Carmody:

Uh, so that changed everything for us.

MItch Carmody:

And then, so even my daughter saw it and says, Oh my where's my name?

MItch Carmody:

You know?

MItch Carmody:

So I said, I think he's doing really good using mold for ink and getting to be on

MItch Carmody:

the corn stock that I never would've found it's up in the morning, blah, blah, blah.

MItch Carmody:

You could break this down and you'd never be able to find it, but we did.

MItch Carmody:

And that problem Rami gated me to write my book was that sign.

MItch Carmody:

Oh, wow.

MItch Carmody:

So that, that era corn with.

MItch Carmody:

So I said, I've got to share this with people that other

MItch Carmody:

people can have my pad though.

MItch Carmody:

The other ones that I'd experienced in life dreams and

MItch Carmody:

the Christmas cactus and stuff.

MItch Carmody:

But this was a specific request that I got and I am very legible, the most

MItch Carmody:

people, and I've shown it to many clerics and people say, Oh my gosh.

MItch Carmody:

You know, and so, and I still have the original and it still looks the same.

MItch Carmody:

But it's all in here, Raymond this is the shirt I was wearing and asked

MItch Carmody:

me for a sign because I was doing a workshop in Texas and we were

MItch Carmody:

talking about, uh, signs of course.

MItch Carmody:

And uh, I said, you know, be bold enough.

MItch Carmody:

Like I said, ask my son for a sign, ask for a sign, but be realistic.

MItch Carmody:

Don't ask to see a penguin in Texas and this man stood up in the

MItch Carmody:

back and says, I beg your pardon.

MItch Carmody:

I go, what?

MItch Carmody:

And he goes, Oh, I'm Ronald Plotkin.

MItch Carmody:

And my son, Raymond died and of the, of the swine flu, when the

MItch Carmody:

swine flu came around, he, he is one of the casualties of Swine Flu.

MItch Carmody:

And so, um, he said, but he loved penguins and so when he died, we adopted

MItch Carmody:

a penguin at the Houston Zoo named Ramona.

MItch Carmody:

So don't tell me, there's no penguins in Texas.

MItch Carmody:

And so, so we laughed about that and I said, Oh my God.

MItch Carmody:

I mean, I was just making a metaphor and I'd never used that before.

MItch Carmody:

I don't know why I said peguins in Texas, that just tape.

MItch Carmody:

Cause we were in Texas I guess.

MItch Carmody:

And you know, and I, anyway, I didn't even think about it.

MItch Carmody:

It just came out.

MItch Carmody:

But what happened after that workshop now is that people all over the

MItch Carmody:

country now on his yard side or on his birthday, they will send a penguin.

MItch Carmody:

My granddaughter on his birthday sent him a penguin that she went to a

MItch Carmody:

painting she did at the County fair.

MItch Carmody:

And she said, and I got first prize.

MItch Carmody:

I want to send it to, she calls him uncle rambling.

MItch Carmody:

Cause he's Kelly's friend.

MItch Carmody:

And she said, I want to, I want to send it to uncle Raymond's mom and dad.

MItch Carmody:

And so, Oh my God they've loved it.

MItch Carmody:

So since then now go on the next slide.

MItch Carmody:

You can see a picture of their penguin shelf.

MItch Carmody:

This is from four years or five years of people since that workshop

MItch Carmody:

that have been sending them penguin stuff, it happens to this day.

MItch Carmody:

People don't know when to send flowers or a card that before five years,

MItch Carmody:

all you gotta do is send a penguin.

MItch Carmody:

You know, I could garbage pail kids cards once in a while

MItch Carmody:

from somebody else send me one.

MItch Carmody:

Cause I that's it not a big, no, nothing fancy, but you know what that says.

MItch Carmody:

So they had to get a whole shelf to hold all that.

MItch Carmody:

And I did a portrait of cause I do, uh, portraits.

MItch Carmody:

There's my studio.

MItch Carmody:

And I do portaits of mostly children who have died.

MItch Carmody:

And they said, put your please do us a portrait.

MItch Carmody:

And could you put, you know, just something with a penguin.

MItch Carmody:

And then when he loved Elmo and, uh, and he was Jewish, so he loved the

MItch Carmody:

Jewish religion and he loved the, uh, it was going to be a nuclear

MItch Carmody:

scientist and he loved tennis.

MItch Carmody:

And so I put everything in the portrait that he liked and I

MItch Carmody:

put him in a penguin option.

MItch Carmody:

Oh, my God, they absolutely went Gaga for this portrait.

MItch Carmody:

And, uh, my daughter thought this is crazy dad that knows this,

MItch Carmody:

that this is what they want.

MItch Carmody:

So when we did the DCF conference in Texas, again, Oh, it was in Texas.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, I like to give away a raffle ticket of a free portrait

MItch Carmody:

for somebody from my studio.

MItch Carmody:

I said, yeah, just, you know, I've got two people know what it looks

MItch Carmody:

like I said, Raymond, or mean, uh, Ronald sometimes I call my parents

MItch Carmody:

kids, their kids' names, but they love to hear it, but I call it Ronald

MItch Carmody:

I said, can you bring Raymond's picture in to put in the bookstore and show people.

MItch Carmody:

What they could get for the raffle, he said, sure I'll do that.

MItch Carmody:

I'm proud to put Raymond everywhere.

MItch Carmody:

So he brought it in and put it in the workshop.

MItch Carmody:

And during my workshops, I have a sharing session at the end at night, like nine

MItch Carmody:

o'clock at night to talk about signs because there's no time in the workshop.

MItch Carmody:

So we talk about science.

MItch Carmody:

Sometimes I'd go up till two o'clock in the morning and they've cut that out.

MItch Carmody:

They made the Mitch Carmody rule because it went to late , but, um,

MItch Carmody:

we would sit and talk and share.

MItch Carmody:

Everybody's 150 people at night everybody telling their story.

MItch Carmody:

And so we're the front of the ballroom in a corner and pretty much people are

MItch Carmody:

going, it's getting to be midnight and everybody's leaving except one woman who

MItch Carmody:

came in late was just standing there.

MItch Carmody:

And she said, I've been waiting and waiting.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, can I help you?

MItch Carmody:

And she goes, well, I, I missed the conference.

MItch Carmody:

I didn't see your workshop.

MItch Carmody:

I haven't been to the conference at all, but I wanted to go to the sign

MItch Carmody:

one, but I just thought, well, since I'm here, I'll come to this workshop.

MItch Carmody:

I mean, for the Sharon session, Yeah.

MItch Carmody:

So she said, I just have to tell you I'm a psychic and I don't tell

MItch Carmody:

anybody a psychic when I'm at a bereave conference, I'm here for myself, but she

MItch Carmody:

said, I just happened to be a psychic.

MItch Carmody:

And I should, I, this may sound crazy too and I don't know what you believe

MItch Carmody:

is in psychics, but I know you're doing the workshop, but if this makes any

MItch Carmody:

sense to you, but there is a young man dancing around behind you, like Charlie

MItch Carmody:

Chaplin, wearing a penguin outfit.

MItch Carmody:

You can't be this isn't.

MItch Carmody:

I said, have you been to the workshop?

MItch Carmody:

Have you been to the bookstore?

MItch Carmody:

And she goes, no, it's closed everything.

MItch Carmody:

No, I've been anywhere just here.

MItch Carmody:

I said, well, I'll give you Ronald Plotkin's name.

MItch Carmody:

you look for him I said, they wouldn't want to take

MItch Carmody:

you to the bookstore tomorrow.

MItch Carmody:

And so she ended up finding the Plotkins, took her to the bookstore

MItch Carmody:

and they showed him the Parkridge.

MItch Carmody:

That's the cab that was behind Mitch at the work during the Sharon's session.

MItch Carmody:

Oh, again,

Steve Smelski:

Can't make it up right?

MItch Carmody:

You can't make this up.

MItch Carmody:

You know, a lot of people might poo poo it up because he's a psychic, but she had

MItch Carmody:

no idea or she couldn't have lied about seeing the bookstore, but no, there's no

MItch Carmody:

impetus to lie at a bereave conference.

MItch Carmody:

No, it's just, it's just all naturally unfolds in at the right time for the

MItch Carmody:

right place for the right people.

MItch Carmody:

Wow

MItch Carmody:

So prior to that communication, I know you guys gotta get going at all, or

MItch Carmody:

I can run through this real quick.

MItch Carmody:

Okay.

Steve Smelski:

Nope We're good

Marshall Adler:

We're good

MItch Carmody:

Prior to death communication, that's we're talking

MItch Carmody:

about what happens before the death.

MItch Carmody:

I'm not sure how much I have on here.

MItch Carmody:

We'll have to go, go, just go through the next slide and see what we have December

MItch Carmody:

1st, like I said is my son's angel day.

MItch Carmody:

And then when my granddaughter was born on my son's angel day on the 23rd angel day.

MItch Carmody:

And I'll talk about that a little bit later about the psychic that called me.

MItch Carmody:

But anyway that she was born on his angel day and we always had a birthday

MItch Carmody:

party because it's Kelly's angel David.

MItch Carmody:

Now it's my granddaughter's birthday, which was huge, huge for us to

MItch Carmody:

start celebrating instead of crying.

MItch Carmody:

All day or sitting in a basement.

MItch Carmody:

You know, we, you know, we celebrated the Yahrzeut candle and a birthday

MItch Carmody:

candle, and it was wonderful to do that.

MItch Carmody:

But this year, an orb shown up two orbs showed up.

MItch Carmody:

Actually, you can see in a picture and one above my sister-in-law, my wife's

MItch Carmody:

sister didn't think anything of it, but then they'd go to the next slide.

MItch Carmody:

The next year we had a birthday party again.

MItch Carmody:

But in between that next bird, she was, again, an orb showed up with my sister

MItch Carmody:

and my granddaughter at the, who was there at, with a cake at the table.

MItch Carmody:

And my sister in law had bandana on because she in-between time had been

MItch Carmody:

diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

MItch Carmody:

And then a year later she died.

MItch Carmody:

So in the orbs shown up above her whilst she didn't know she was sick,

MItch Carmody:

but her body knew she was sick.

MItch Carmody:

The spirit knew she was sick and this horrible showing up prior.

Steve Smelski:

So in this one, she was sick?

MItch Carmody:

We didn't know she was sick they were estimating that

MItch Carmody:

maybe the pancreatic cancer, you know, sometimes people go a while, well

MItch Carmody:

with funny pains, but really don't do anything about it until it's too late.

MItch Carmody:

And it was too late for her because she just had a low pay tolerance

MItch Carmody:

or whatever she didn't know.

MItch Carmody:

And so he found out that we looked at this in retrospect, again, that these

MItch Carmody:

orbs show up prior to the death, which I didn't know and other people not sending

MItch Carmody:

me pictures of orbs prior to the death that shows its fears hanging around.

MItch Carmody:

Maybe even the dreams that you said Jordan's was having maybe a spirit

MItch Carmody:

was coming to him before he even died, that they were coming to him and his

MItch Carmody:

dreams that evil spirit looks crazy.

MItch Carmody:

Scary if you don't know what it's about.

Steve Smelski:

So some nights he's have two nightmares and he'd come knock

Steve Smelski:

on our door and I'd go back and put him, Shelly, didn't hear him knock.

Steve Smelski:

I'd take him back to bed.

Steve Smelski:

That happened for two or three years.

Steve Smelski:

He never told us what the nightmares are about.

Steve Smelski:

He wouldn't talk about,

MItch Carmody:

He never did

Steve Smelski:

He never told us.

Steve Smelski:

I'm getting goosebumps all over here.

Steve Smelski:

I just it' I think it's very interesting when you first told me that before

Steve Smelski:

about the dreams, I'm thinking, God, I wonder if some of the relatives and the

Steve Smelski:

people are going to greet him or just kind of get familiar with his spirit,

Steve Smelski:

you know, to know that he's becoming, you know, and no one knew he, Jordan

Steve Smelski:

didn't know he's an, a guy, you know, he died from that horrible bug, you know?

Steve Smelski:

Right

MItch Carmody:

So, this is a, towards the end.

MItch Carmody:

All I got, I got Kelly's tumor fighting pictures, which I took out the majority

MItch Carmody:

of them because we're doing this is a, for the first part is radio.

MItch Carmody:

But I want to explain that when we became friends with Bernie

MItch Carmody:

Siegel who wrote Miracle Medicine.

MItch Carmody:

And, uh, it was a salvation that book that we had for when Kelly was sick.

MItch Carmody:

And so he said, I have Kelly dropped pictures of a Pac-Man eating up the tumor

MItch Carmody:

have bind over matter, have him visualize his Pac- Man eating up of the tumor.

MItch Carmody:

And so we would draw the pictures.

MItch Carmody:

We send them to Bernie.

MItch Carmody:

Bernie would write a note on it and send it to us back.

MItch Carmody:

I can't believe that he took out of his busy schedule.

MItch Carmody:

That time for us.

MItch Carmody:

So that's huge.

MItch Carmody:

And so we had all these pictures and eventually I went out to where

MItch Carmody:

he lived, his wife was dying.

MItch Carmody:

I went to go visit Bernie at his house.

MItch Carmody:

That's another whole story, but he had his draw, these pictures.

MItch Carmody:

So Kelly ended up the pictures that you can't see it, but

MItch Carmody:

there's a whole series of them.

MItch Carmody:

We thought we had rose colored glasses on.

MItch Carmody:

We thought he was going to beat the tumor and we're drawing

MItch Carmody:

all these positive pictures.

MItch Carmody:

But as the pictures progressed, less of his full body disappeared.

MItch Carmody:

Pretty soon.

MItch Carmody:

He, with just his head, pretty soon, there was a line on his head just

MItch Carmody:

showing a huge tumor in the head.

MItch Carmody:

It's just a small face.

MItch Carmody:

And then pretty soon there was no image of him at all.

MItch Carmody:

And then there was finally, he finally.

MItch Carmody:

Yeah, two and one is called the end of pain and we thought,

MItch Carmody:

well, that's what it means.

MItch Carmody:

He ended up paying he's going to beat the cancer.

MItch Carmody:

But when we looked at these, which I took out from his trunk, the

MItch Carmody:

things almost eight years ago and looked at them in a different light.

MItch Carmody:

Now I've not, I've not I've got 20 some years bereaved at this time.

MItch Carmody:

Not just having died.

MItch Carmody:

I didn't put anything to it together.

MItch Carmody:

These were fighting pickers.

MItch Carmody:

These weren't grief pitchers, but I see it in a child knows intuitively

MItch Carmody:

the spirit knows that comes out in the art comes out in the writing.

MItch Carmody:

And so his picture that says, and the pain we thought was being

MItch Carmody:

the cancer really was him dying.

MItch Carmody:

We'd go to the next picture.

MItch Carmody:

And you can see now it was all circles before now.

MItch Carmody:

The broke circuit is broken all these Pitchfork in his head because

MItch Carmody:

he was having so horrible headaches.

MItch Carmody:

The pain was so much that finally the tumor blew apart, killed him.

MItch Carmody:

He signed it Kelly, and he says the end of pain.

Steve Smelski:

Oh wow

Steve Smelski:

So in his case, the only end of pain that was possible was his death because

Steve Smelski:

there was nothing more we could do.

Steve Smelski:

And so it was, um, the tumor that was undiagnosed in his brain actually was

Steve Smelski:

a blessing that killed him because the tumors would have killed him and that

Steve Smelski:

eventually anyway, but in a lot less pain.

Steve Smelski:

And so then he did one more after this and he drew his picture of self with

Steve Smelski:

wings and his little stripes of hair.

Steve Smelski:

You've got like four stripes, little strands of hair on his head,

Steve Smelski:

got little wings behind him and he's got a rainbow covering him.

Steve Smelski:

And it says God above him with two clouds and a sun.

Steve Smelski:

And we go, Oh my God, that, that now we look at it.

Steve Smelski:

Now he said, end of pain.

Steve Smelski:

He went to God that's what he was trying to tell us before he died.

MItch Carmody:

And so it really gave us a downstream, comforting feeling that he

MItch Carmody:

knew in his own spirit where he was going.

MItch Carmody:

So we went fromend of pain and then I'm going to go to the

MItch Carmody:

drawing without showing it.

MItch Carmody:

Yeah.

MItch Carmody:

Do you look at this drawing, but because I will read the card my grant, my daughter,

MItch Carmody:

then at home, six years old wrote as a card on Easter morning and she made us

MItch Carmody:

green eggs and ham for breakfast, you know, and the best we could and we had

MItch Carmody:

set up for and, you know, were bereaved parents stumbling out our first, you know,

MItch Carmody:

holiday after Christmas and new year's and, uh, We sat down at the table and

MItch Carmody:

she made a card for us out of a spiral, little small spiral notebooks, stapled

MItch Carmody:

it together in her six year old writing.

MItch Carmody:

And the cover of it.

MItch Carmody:

If you see, it looks just like the cover of the last drawing Kelly

MItch Carmody:

did, which she did in the hospital.

MItch Carmody:

These weren't drawings at Kelly she had ever seen, these

MItch Carmody:

were drawings in the hospital.

MItch Carmody:

We put away, but she drew the cover of this card, the same

MItch Carmody:

angel with three bikes a hair out of the head and the rainbow top.

MItch Carmody:

And she said, to mom and dad then pays the next one.

MItch Carmody:

Please don't be sad just for me.

MItch Carmody:

I am happy, I hope you are happy.

MItch Carmody:

Next one.

MItch Carmody:

I love you.

MItch Carmody:

And I am glad up in heaven, but I miss you.

MItch Carmody:

Next one.

MItch Carmody:

I make Meghan do it, but I put it in her brain.

MItch Carmody:

Next one.

MItch Carmody:

And Kelly said, happy Easter, mom and dad, she's writing from Kelly and make

MItch Carmody:

Kelly do it, put it in her brain at the time we said, Oh, how sweet honey?

MItch Carmody:

And we put it away.

MItch Carmody:

Didn't think anything of it really?

MItch Carmody:

We were just super, so shell shocked.

MItch Carmody:

No, that we thought this is so sweet of her.

MItch Carmody:

And I make up this little story.

MItch Carmody:

You know, and then years later we pulled this out and I show, I worked

MItch Carmody:

in the elementary school and I showed this the preschool teachers in LA.

MItch Carmody:

They said that is not the ability of a child that age and the way, the

MItch Carmody:

way she said it I'd make Kelly do it.

MItch Carmody:

I put it in her brain.

MItch Carmody:

Amazing downstream message that happened, you know, that happened afterwards.

MItch Carmody:

But yet it came from him through his sister, but we wouldn't have

MItch Carmody:

noticed that unless we're being aware.

Steve Smelski:

Wow.

Steve Smelski:

And that'll bring tears.

MItch Carmody:

Is that, I mean, when I got, when I club, when I, when I

MItch Carmody:

started, when I read it every time, because it just blows me away that she,

MItch Carmody:

that, that she didn't have the ability.

MItch Carmody:

She was just holding the pen, you know, and, and colored the, yeah.

MItch Carmody:

It's another wonderful divine gift.

MItch Carmody:

So now go to the next one go ahead.

Steve Smelski:

That is a blessing.

MItch Carmody:

Isn't it?

MItch Carmody:

Well, you can see Kelly's handwriting, Meghan's handwriting for you.

MItch Carmody:

They can't see it.

MItch Carmody:

They're almost identical written the same way.

MItch Carmody:

The Y's and the K's

MItch Carmody:

? Steve Smelski: Wow, that's awesome.

MItch Carmody:

Then the next one, just show us the covers of the car.

MItch Carmody:

And I think you see Meghan's drawing and Kelly's drawn how similar they really

MItch Carmody:

are, whether she had never seen this as a, six-year-old never even seen this.

MItch Carmody:

So the champion of her drawing, the same thing again is beyond comprehension.

Steve Smelski:

Wow,

Steve Smelski:

but he was showing her the visuals obviously.

Steve Smelski:

So When you, when we were looking at this one with the rainbow,

Steve Smelski:

over him with, uh, three or four spikes of hair, he's got wings.

Steve Smelski:

He's.

Steve Smelski:

And it says God, over top of the, uh, the rainbow, then it says the two clouds.

Steve Smelski:

And you said the sun or his son?

MItch Carmody:

Oh did I

MItch Carmody:

? Steve Smelski: You said

MItch Carmody:

And I was thinking two clouds in his son.

MItch Carmody:

His son uh, Oh, I didn't even think about that.

MItch Carmody:

No, but no, two cloulds, I would just try and describe the whole picture intake,

MItch Carmody:

but there's a lot of metaphors in that.

MItch Carmody:

That's another whole thing about sun.

MItch Carmody:

S U N or S O N for a lot of people.

Steve Smelski:

Right Um, wow.

MItch Carmody:

So then I get the phone call from a psychic medium, a gal from

MItch Carmody:

high school calls me and says, Mitch, you don't remember me from high school,

MItch Carmody:

but she goes, um, I'm a psychic now.

MItch Carmody:

And my son died and I'm writing a book and I want to talk

MItch Carmody:

to you about your publisher.

MItch Carmody:

And she said, Oh my God, Kelly's coming to me now.

MItch Carmody:

They said, congratulations.

MItch Carmody:

You're going to be a grandpa.

MItch Carmody:

Kelly is going to be born back into your family.

MItch Carmody:

First time in my life.

MItch Carmody:

I was ever speechless.

MItch Carmody:

Marshall.

MItch Carmody:

I didn't know what to say.

MItch Carmody:

I just sat.

MItch Carmody:

Thank you Robin.

MItch Carmody:

And then I got off the phone and I told my wife, she goes, Robin from high school,

MItch Carmody:

oh she's nut and I called my daughter and I said, Megan, I grab, hold on.

MItch Carmody:

This is what transpired.

MItch Carmody:

And she said, dad, I'm pregnant.

MItch Carmody:

I mean, I mean, I have a three-year-old to take care of I'm on the pill.

MItch Carmody:

The NASDAQ crashed.

MItch Carmody:

My husband lost his job.

MItch Carmody:

We're out of our house.

MItch Carmody:

Our organ was upside down.

MItch Carmody:

We had to, you know, blah, blah, blah.

MItch Carmody:

We have no health insurance.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, we're not getting pregnant and I'm on the pill.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, dad, she's just not that's okay.

MItch Carmody:

I'm just telling you.

MItch Carmody:

Six weeks later, she called me she said, dad, I've missed my period.

MItch Carmody:

I took two EPT tests.

MItch Carmody:

They're positive.

MItch Carmody:

I went into the doctor and said, congratulations, you are pregnant.

MItch Carmody:

Your due dates, November 16th.

MItch Carmody:

Well, November 16th is Kelly's birthday and so I was like, Oh

MItch Carmody:

my God, this is unbelievable.

MItch Carmody:

My daughter's going, how on the flip did this woman know I was pregnant

MItch Carmody:

and then on Kelly's birthday, no less.

MItch Carmody:

And I, so we're aiting it wouldn't happen.

MItch Carmody:

Then I was, again, speaking down in Florida in Fort Lauderdale and I missed, I

MItch Carmody:

came home and the baby had not been born.

MItch Carmody:

She was going, she was going late, nothing was happening.

MItch Carmody:

They said, well, we're going to have to do an introduction.

MItch Carmody:

And then she went into labor at midnight on December 1st, his 23rd angel day.

MItch Carmody:

And that baby was born and a little girl and the neighbor, uh, Olivia

MItch Carmody:

Kelly . And I was like, I love it yet.

MItch Carmody:

Kelly.

MItch Carmody:

I just love how they Olivia Kelly and same weight, same length,

MItch Carmody:

same blue eyes, blonde hair.

MItch Carmody:

I mean, genetics are there as well, but it looks strikingly infant, like, uh,

MItch Carmody:

like Kelly and that they've grown up.

MItch Carmody:

And, uh, she talks about Kelly.

MItch Carmody:

She looked like Kelly.

MItch Carmody:

We looked back at the old records and they were the same

MItch Carmody:

birth weight at the same length.

MItch Carmody:

I don't remember that stuff.

MItch Carmody:

My wife wrote it down and remembered it.

MItch Carmody:

So now we'll show a picture of Kelly.

MItch Carmody:

And when he was born, 1979 with me holding Kelly.

MItch Carmody:

There's Olivia 2010.

MItch Carmody:

They look like the same baby.

MItch Carmody:

And so people would say, what is, what is this, this, this, uh, dark

MItch Carmody:

reincarnation, you know, people put it that way when they say it.

MItch Carmody:

And I, our guardian angel, I said, you know, I don't know what to call it.

MItch Carmody:

I just called it wonderful.

MItch Carmody:

Uh, I don't, I don't, I can't explain, you know, where does arrogant, hairless,

MItch Carmody:

apes trying to figure it all out?

MItch Carmody:

We don't know.

MItch Carmody:

We're guessing for the most part.

MItch Carmody:

So I said, I don't care.

MItch Carmody:

I just believe that's what faith all about.

MItch Carmody:

You believe, and I believe, and this just validated my belief.

MItch Carmody:

And so now another picutre of her growing up now I have probably

MItch Carmody:

more, but there she is again.

MItch Carmody:

And she talks about uncle Kelly all the time.

MItch Carmody:

She says uncle Kelly, this, I saw my, my best workshop beyond sweat worth was

MItch Carmody:

a law of which, uh, I could talk about sometime, if you want to do a proactive,

MItch Carmody:

grieving session, but Livia was out in the yard crying and she was hugging a tree.

MItch Carmody:

We come from a long land tree huggers and she was hugging this tree and crying.

MItch Carmody:

I said, honey what's wrong?

MItch Carmody:

Did you hurt yourself?

MItch Carmody:

She goes, no, I go, why are you hugging a tree?

MItch Carmody:

She goes, I feel better when to hug a tree.

MItch Carmody:

I feel uncle Kelly, when I hug, I know you do.

MItch Carmody:

She goes, yes.

MItch Carmody:

And I've been hugging the tree and crying because I miss him.

MItch Carmody:

And you know, it's so weird to have this conversation.

MItch Carmody:

He's been dead for 23 years.

MItch Carmody:

There'll be no 28 years at this time.

MItch Carmody:

She's five years old.

MItch Carmody:

And, uh, she said, but he said that we're going to start

MItch Carmody:

telling you Winnie the Pooh.

MItch Carmody:

I go, what.

MItch Carmody:

Why Winnie the Pooh?

MItch Carmody:

She goes, I don't know maybe we should watch it.

MItch Carmody:

So we went in and watched Winnie the Pooh and the whole story of the

MItch Carmody:

hundred acre wood is trying to solve or fix Eeyore's grief when he lost

MItch Carmody:

his tail, they're trying to fix it, put a ribbon on it, doing all this stuff.

MItch Carmody:

Everybody's got a different idea how to fix his grief.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, Oh my God, this is gonna be a great workshop.

MItch Carmody:

And now I do it called grief, a hundred acre wood.

MItch Carmody:

It's about the five different personalities in the hundred acre wood.

MItch Carmody:

Each one of the different grief personalities from piglet, you know,

MItch Carmody:

to Eeyore, to the owl, to the rabbit.

MItch Carmody:

And they each have a distinct get where they're running from their grave

MItch Carmody:

or they're laughing about their grade or their normal about their grades,

MItch Carmody:

or there'll be quiet about their grief or their a Winnie the Pooh.

MItch Carmody:

And they just go through life like it is okay not because it's okay,

MItch Carmody:

but that's their strong suit.

MItch Carmody:

You draw it to who you are as a person.

MItch Carmody:

That's how you get through grief when you draw through the strong suit.

MItch Carmody:

Of who you are.

MItch Carmody:

And I'm a Winnie with a piglet rising.

MItch Carmody:

I love to go hug people, but yet I like my routine.

MItch Carmody:

I am not an all on the sit in there, back to the corner and not say a word.

MItch Carmody:

I cannot help myself.

MItch Carmody:

So I'm not an Owl.

MItch Carmody:

And a lot of people are Eeyore's.

MItch Carmody:

They're just complaining about it.

MItch Carmody:

So that that's another whole workshop we can talk about, but I'm

MItch Carmody:

going to go forward a little bit.

MItch Carmody:

The last powerful sign we haven't even asked for is this sign.

MItch Carmody:

And there's a picture of my book.

MItch Carmody:

And since I've been going to Florida for 10 years to the body rest of

MItch Carmody:

the foundations bring in fall.

MItch Carmody:

And I bet there's TCF chapters.

MItch Carmody:

I've driven her all around the coast and different TCF chapters and Georgia

MItch Carmody:

or Tampa, or, uh, You know, Miami and corals the other on the East

MItch Carmody:

side or the Gulf side, whatever.

MItch Carmody:

So when I'm doing meetings with people and my wife's there, wasn't we're down here.

MItch Carmody:

Why don't we do something for us?

MItch Carmody:

Why don't we get an Airbnb and stay at that great big Lake in the middle?

MItch Carmody:

I said, you know, I've never been to like, Oh, good to bogey or whatever it is.

MItch Carmody:

It's that great big Lake Okeechobee that this was let's go get

MItch Carmody:

a Airbnb on Lake Okeechobee.

MItch Carmody:

So we looked, found one.

MItch Carmody:

Buyer beware with Airbnb is that we had this weird little place

MItch Carmody:

behind the dumpster at Kmart Walmart parking lot, you know, but

MItch Carmody:

it was, that was like three acres.

MItch Carmody:

So it was spread out, but it was a kind of a epileptic 70

MItch Carmody:

year old artists with one leg.

MItch Carmody:

And he said, I said, my wife is dying of Alzheimer's.

MItch Carmody:

And so I can't do my art anymore.

MItch Carmody:

So on Airbnb in my studio, I, so I'm an artist.

MItch Carmody:

Hey, that's great.

MItch Carmody:

So we, I, we stayed in his studio.

MItch Carmody:

And then we looked around or we stayed in there.

MItch Carmody:

It was kinda, my wife said, well, it's kind of dirty.

MItch Carmody:

It wasn't real immaculate, but I like oddball thing.

MItch Carmody:

So I liked it.

MItch Carmody:

And then we're going to go outside.

MItch Carmody:

And it was cloudy that day.

MItch Carmody:

And then the sun came out all of a sudden shine through the park, which a stack full

MItch Carmody:

of all those papers in the front porch.

MItch Carmody:

And this stained glass window was hanging in the porch.

MItch Carmody:

The sun came through and I saw my son's face in it.

MItch Carmody:

I said, Oh my God.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, Barb, she goes, what?

MItch Carmody:

I go look at that.

MItch Carmody:

And she said, Oh my God, that looks like Kelly.

MItch Carmody:

I said, I know.

MItch Carmody:

So I ran, I ran to the artist's house, brought him back out and,

MItch Carmody:

you know, with his limpy artificial leg and he had to come with,

MItch Carmody:

all right, I gotta show you this.

MItch Carmody:

And I want to buy this.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, Oh, everything's for sale.

MItch Carmody:

I said, I'd love to buy this stained glass window.

MItch Carmody:

And uh, he said, okay.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, well, can you see it's a, did you put a face in there?

MItch Carmody:

They said, no, it's just swirled glass.

MItch Carmody:

And I bought the expensive swirled, mixed glass, but I just made a

MItch Carmody:

vase with three flowers above it.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, well, I see my son's face.

MItch Carmody:

And then we put the book out and we put it up next to it and he

MItch Carmody:

goes, Holy, Oh, I can't believe it.

MItch Carmody:

He said, I'm giving you a heck of a deal.

MItch Carmody:

He said, it's going to cost you 150 bucks to ship it back.

MItch Carmody:

So, uh, what for the shipping place right in the parking lot next to us.

MItch Carmody:

So we walked over there, we shipped it home.

MItch Carmody:

Now it's hanging in our condo here and it's just, can you see his face in there?

MItch Carmody:

If not all people can see it, but when it's above the green line, you see it.

MItch Carmody:

I see the nose and it's almost like it's got a dark between us.

MItch Carmody:

You know, but the eyes are definitely there and the nose, I can kind of see his

MItch Carmody:

nose and the lips and, you know, yeah.

MItch Carmody:

There's a nose.

MItch Carmody:

And so we see if people come over and they see it and it's such a wonderful thing.

MItch Carmody:

And we lived on the farm for 23 years.

MItch Carmody:

I think you said Marshall, you've been at your house for 23 years

Marshall Adler:

Right, RIght

MItch Carmody:

And we've at the farm for 23 years.

MItch Carmody:

Had no intention on moving, but on Thanksgiving three years ago,

MItch Carmody:

driving back from my daughter in Redwing, Minnesota, which is about

MItch Carmody:

30 miles from us on the river.

MItch Carmody:

Now we ended up moving to Wisconsin with my explaining.

MItch Carmody:

We lived in Minnesota.

MItch Carmody:

We drive down the Minnesota, outside of the river, go to red

MItch Carmody:

wing, see another river town for Thanksgiving, my wife had to work.

MItch Carmody:

She's an ICU nurse.

MItch Carmody:

So I took the, went down there with the grandkids, had Thanksgiving

MItch Carmody:

going to bring them back to mano Papa's house on Thanksgiving night.

MItch Carmody:

So we're down there.

MItch Carmody:

Red ring said, well, let's go back to the Wisconsin side.

MItch Carmody:

It's much prettier.

MItch Carmody:

It's a beautiful drive.

MItch Carmody:

And so we drove back the Wisconsin side and all the leaves were off this Hill.

MItch Carmody:

That overlooked the confluence of the Mississippi and the St.

MItch Carmody:

Croix rivers.

MItch Carmody:

It's very sacred spot where the two rivers come together.

MItch Carmody:

You can actually see the two different colors of the river, and there's an

MItch Carmody:

overlook that's over there across the street from there is a 16 condos

MItch Carmody:

that have been here for years.

MItch Carmody:

I guess I thought there was a part rebuilding, but they

MItch Carmody:

were covered with huge Maples.

MItch Carmody:

She could never really see them, but now it was November.

MItch Carmody:

It was after, after Halloween, all our Thanksgiving, all the leaves were gone.

MItch Carmody:

And the sun was going down and it was hitting the kind of the Northwest

MItch Carmody:

windows of the corner condo.

MItch Carmody:

It was just 16, 15 units.

MItch Carmody:

The last one on the end, there are three stories at all these windows

MItch Carmody:

on the upper middle and lower levels.

MItch Carmody:

The sun was just brilliant.

MItch Carmody:

I, Oh my God.

MItch Carmody:

And I told my granddaughter.

MItch Carmody:

I said, when I retire, that's where Papa is going to live.

MItch Carmody:

Look at that overlooking the river, the confluence.

MItch Carmody:

And my granddad said, well, Papa, you are retired.

MItch Carmody:

Well, yeah, you're right.

MItch Carmody:

Well, I'm going, I retired early 62, so I was like, I went home

MItch Carmody:

first, the condo, so I could see it look down at it, got an address.

MItch Carmody:

And so I, I got the address and I put the address into a Google search.

MItch Carmody:

It came up in a real estate company.

MItch Carmody:

For sale, there was no sign or anything.

MItch Carmody:

And so I called, I called it and the woman says, how did you get this

MItch Carmody:

number and find out about this house?

MItch Carmody:

She said, we just listed it two hours ago.

MItch Carmody:

I said, I just, I just know that, I mean, I've countered it, it just a

MItch Carmody:

matter of seconds driving down a Hill that I happened to look up and see it.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, I don't know.

MItch Carmody:

I just, I, I just have to see it.

MItch Carmody:

So we went the next day at black Friday when we looked at the condo with my

MItch Carmody:

granddaughter and my wife, my wife was, why are we looking at a condo?

MItch Carmody:

I said, I told her I want an art studio that overlooks the river someday.

MItch Carmody:

Well, this is three stories and it overlook the river.

MItch Carmody:

Maybe I can set up a studio in there.

MItch Carmody:

Let's just look at it.

MItch Carmody:

So we looked at it and as a man, I didn't even look in the garage

MItch Carmody:

or the water heater or anything.

MItch Carmody:

I just said, okay, I'm on it.

MItch Carmody:

This studio downstairs would be perfect.

MItch Carmody:

The look of the river is perfect.

MItch Carmody:

I like it.

MItch Carmody:

We can sell the farm and then it says, okay, you want to

MItch Carmody:

think about it a little bit?

MItch Carmody:

I said, no.

MItch Carmody:

I said, how much are they asking?

MItch Carmody:

And I said, okay, I bid $3,000 underneath what they're asking.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, I'll just, I'll put this bid in.

MItch Carmody:

So we did, and my wife still thinks I'm crazy.

MItch Carmody:

We had not planned to move or do anything.

MItch Carmody:

23 years on a farm.

MItch Carmody:

We had horses, you know, we had three horses and that's all.

MItch Carmody:

Then I put the bid in on December 1st Kelly's angel day, 30th angel day.

MItch Carmody:

The people called us and says, we've accepted your bid.

MItch Carmody:

And the real estate agent said, I didn't tell you, I, after I've talked to you,

MItch Carmody:

she goes, my son was also born in 1978.

MItch Carmody:

He died 15 years ago.

MItch Carmody:

So I know how important this is for you.

MItch Carmody:

And she goes, I can't believe your son found this for you.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, I can't.

MItch Carmody:

And so when we finally get this piece of glass from Florida and now hanging.

MItch Carmody:

This, this is like his third , this will be his 33rd year, December 1st now.

MItch Carmody:

And it's, and I've, I've been like retired from a lot of other things.

MItch Carmody:

That's been a huge, uh, turning point and doing stuff that our whole life and

MItch Carmody:

it's like Kelly said, dad, you've worked hard for 32 years and on my journey.

MItch Carmody:

It's time for you to take a rest and just do your artwork.

MItch Carmody:

And I've been doing pencil sketches.

MItch Carmody:

You can see some behind me and the pencil sketches I've done

MItch Carmody:

for 30 years since he died.

MItch Carmody:

Now I'm doing color I bought colored pencils and I'm doing

MItch Carmody:

color pencils and I don't, I'm not doing grief portraits anymore.

MItch Carmody:

I'm doing less grief workshops.

MItch Carmody:

COVID helped do that.

MItch Carmody:

The collateral blessing of that for me, was not traveling and getting the lights,

MItch Carmody:

staying home, working in the studio, working on my third book and knowing that

MItch Carmody:

this is Kelly, where he wanted us to be.

MItch Carmody:

And even my granddaughter say.

MItch Carmody:

Kelly wanted us here for sure.

MItch Carmody:

Papa, you know, and look at that glass, they looked just like him , amd

MItch Carmody:

so that is, this is kind of the end of the, of, of the slides.

MItch Carmody:

Cause I want to show it for 33 years.

MItch Carmody:

It's still happens.

MItch Carmody:

You know, when we listen.

Marshall Adler:

Wow ,Oh, that's fascinating.

Marshall Adler:

I mean the whole visual, same as the stories, you know, it's, it's

Marshall Adler:

sort of like a, um, jigsaw puzzle.

Marshall Adler:

I I've I've said this before.

Marshall Adler:

I was talking about Matt's passing by suicide, but I think

Marshall Adler:

it actually relates to the signs.

Marshall Adler:

It's like a thousand piece puzzle on your dining room table, and you got

Marshall Adler:

to look at it and see which pieces fit and they start fitting together

Marshall Adler:

and you go, I never saw that one fit there, but now it's fits there

MItch Carmody:

We are so on the same page Marshall . I've said that I can run an

MItch Carmody:

art blog about that puzzle piece thing.

MItch Carmody:

That for me, when, once you in your grief, once you get the corner pieces

MItch Carmody:

in, then you know, you're on your way, you know, but it takes forever

MItch Carmody:

to get those corner pieces in.

MItch Carmody:

But once you do, then it starts, you don't even know what the other pieces

MItch Carmody:

were, what they were back then, but what downstream you start to go.

MItch Carmody:

That's why that happened then that's why that happened then

MItch Carmody:

that's why that happened then.

MItch Carmody:

And when this happened, this was the last one.

MItch Carmody:

This, this piece of glass was the last piece of the puzzle.

MItch Carmody:

My wife and I both said, said, we are back the way we were before he died.

MItch Carmody:

We don't fit.

MItch Carmody:

We, we thought we'd never be able to say we're back where we were before,

MItch Carmody:

before Kelly died that, so we almost a 100% not totally hundred because

MItch Carmody:

we're still have our, our days.

MItch Carmody:

But because Kelly is so with us all the time in every respect

MItch Carmody:

that we're not grieving his loss because he's not lost anymore.

MItch Carmody:

But it's taken a long time, you know, to get to that point.

MItch Carmody:

But other people, that's why I want to do this work.

MItch Carmody:

I mean, they'll do the whispers so people can get to that point earlier than I did.

MItch Carmody:

You know, that I didn't, you know, I didn't have to drink a case of Pats

MItch Carmody:

Blue Ribbon every night for a couple of years, I could have had help earlier

MItch Carmody:

on by listening help for my son.

MItch Carmody:

You know?

MItch Carmody:

So that's why it's important to, to share this work.

Marshall Adler:

Oh, it really is because, you know, you just see pieces of your

Marshall Adler:

own, like the stories you were telling.

Marshall Adler:

Like, I I've told Steve this many times, like I dream about Matt

Marshall Adler:

every night, but not every night.

Marshall Adler:

Does he, do I see him?

Marshall Adler:

And sometimes we've had conversations.

Marshall Adler:

We're, it's not a dream.

Marshall Adler:

It's like a real life conversation.

Marshall Adler:

That's happening now, even though he's passed, we're interacting with each other.

Marshall Adler:

It's just a different form of our relationship.

Marshall Adler:

Now,

MItch Carmody:

what does he look like?

MItch Carmody:

You see him in the dream.

Marshall Adler:

Yeah yeah.

Marshall Adler:

He looks like an adult and he was 32 when he passed.

Marshall Adler:

We'd be 34 now.

Marshall Adler:

And it's funny how.

Marshall Adler:

Different people see different things like, um, my son, David,

Marshall Adler:

I think he told me he had a dream when they were little and you know,

Marshall Adler:

it's Florida through the summer.

Marshall Adler:

There's thunder boomers every day.

Marshall Adler:

And you play outside, you got to call the kids in because it looks

Marshall Adler:

like Armageddon is coming just a big, huge wall of water, lightning bolts.

Marshall Adler:

And you know, it's not good.

Marshall Adler:

So he was out playing with Matt and when they were little.

Marshall Adler:

Dave used to get scared.

Marshall Adler:

And he used to run into Matt's room and they'd sleep in bed in bed together.

Marshall Adler:

Matt always let him sleep in the bed together.

Marshall Adler:

He was a big brother, take care of them.

Marshall Adler:

So they're all playing and they were little.

Marshall Adler:

And I guess during the dream they grew up and they got older, you know, it's a

Marshall Adler:

dream and Dave saw the clouds coming in and it was dangerous to stay outside.

Marshall Adler:

The had to go inside.

Marshall Adler:

And Matt said, yeah, you got to go inside.

Marshall Adler:

Started walking and Dave was going inside the house and Matt wouldn't

Marshall Adler:

come in and he goes back, come on in.

Marshall Adler:

He goes, no, you go in now, you got to come in.

Marshall Adler:

He goes, no, I can't come in.

Marshall Adler:

You got to go in.

Marshall Adler:

And then he woke up, like, it was just sort of protecting them, but he

Marshall Adler:

couldn't go in the house with them.

Marshall Adler:

And now I've had dreams.

Marshall Adler:

It was weird because when I before Matt's pass.

Marshall Adler:

I used to sometime dream when he was alive, that he

Marshall Adler:

passed away and I'd wake up.

Marshall Adler:

It's like, I thank God.

Marshall Adler:

That was a dream.

Marshall Adler:

Now I dream that he's alive and I wake up and it's not it's flipped.

Marshall Adler:

So now I had a dream a few weeks ago where Matt said this didn't happen.

Marshall Adler:

It was a dream.

Marshall Adler:

My daughter back, I apologize.

Marshall Adler:

It was a dream that it didn't happen.

Marshall Adler:

And I think I told you off air or not.

Marshall Adler:

When Dave was home, I saw his figure.

Marshall Adler:

I woke up.

Marshall Adler:

I was definitely up.

Marshall Adler:

I wasn't dreaming.

Marshall Adler:

I literally made sure I was up sitting up.

Marshall Adler:

Right.

Marshall Adler:

And I was awake and I saw his figure go by in a flash in the mirror.

Marshall Adler:

And it was absolutely positive.

Marshall Adler:

Like you said, you know, your, your, your child's outline, you know, what

Marshall Adler:

they look like from the side, the back, whatever, you know, what it is.

Marshall Adler:

And I told him it was the second time I saw one time.

Marshall Adler:

I saw him leaving the room.

Marshall Adler:

Which would be to the right of my bed.

Marshall Adler:

This was an, a mirror to left my bed.

Marshall Adler:

I don't know if he was in the mirror in front of the mirror, but I saw him in the

Marshall Adler:

mirror and it was just shortly after where he told me, well, this didn't happen.

Marshall Adler:

And maybe in his sense, it didn't happen.

Marshall Adler:

Just a different form.

Marshall Adler:

And so I'm trying to put all these pieces of the puzzle together

Marshall Adler:

and trying to stick them in.

Marshall Adler:

And the fact this happened when Dave was home, when the lights, again,

Marshall Adler:

it's all just different pieces of the puzzle, trying to put in there,

MItch Carmody:

you're doing some good work early on in your grief, Marshall.

MItch Carmody:

I mean, that is putting a lot together and, uh, it makes

MItch Carmody:

a lot of sense, you know,

Marshall Adler:

it's, it's, it's funny because, um, with Matt's passing, I

Marshall Adler:

just knew I spend the rest of my life, trying to figure out what happened.

Marshall Adler:

I just like my analytical mind, I sort of liked to try to figure out the answer

Marshall Adler:

and Matt was really funny, hilarious.

Marshall Adler:

He just had this incredible sense of humor, but he was unbelievably

Marshall Adler:

intelligent, super smart.

Marshall Adler:

And he always like looking at things.

Marshall Adler:

They would always come up with a different take and what I was

Marshall Adler:

looking at, and I could see is I never thought about that way.

Marshall Adler:

And it's sort of interesting way to look at that issue.

Marshall Adler:

And now I almost feel like, you know, I spent my life trying to

Marshall Adler:

teach him things during his life.

Marshall Adler:

Now he's teaching me things during his afterlife.

MItch Carmody:

When you said the teacher comes, when the student is ready, you

MItch Carmody:

know, that really applies here too.

MItch Carmody:

You know, when we're ready, then our teacher will come and Kelly, you don't.

MItch Carmody:

In fact, I never had it.

MItch Carmody:

I always wanted to have a full blown dream dream of Kelly like I did with my dad.

MItch Carmody:

And, and I never really, it's always been signs, but never really a

MItch Carmody:

conversation with Kelly or anything until again, when I, when I published

MItch Carmody:

my the second edition of my book.

MItch Carmody:

Um, when I sold them also, I did an expanded edition is when you see here

MItch Carmody:

and when that was published, then I had a dream of Kelly and Oh my God,

MItch Carmody:

I wasn't even sure it was Kelly.

MItch Carmody:

At first, I knew it was Kelly, but he I'm notorious for not just wearing

MItch Carmody:

a pair of shorts in the summertime, you know, I'm always just in

MItch Carmody:

shorts, it's, I'm always shirtless.

MItch Carmody:

And so in this dream, I'm standing in a library like a bookstore or a

MItch Carmody:

library and I'm shirtless and, um, this one comes up and she goes, my

MItch Carmody:

God, you have guys didn't you guys have an incredible story to tell and.

MItch Carmody:

I go, what then I looked to the left of me and Kelly is standing there,

MItch Carmody:

shoulder, shoulder, no shirt on muscular looking kid, probably about 19 years

MItch Carmody:

old, you know, and his hair is like, uh, uh, short, but got like, like

MItch Carmody:

African-Americans have those little jagged lines, you know, carved into there.

MItch Carmody:

You know, he had like these jagged lines of arrows carved into his hair and he does

MItch Carmody:

it, but he looks so grown up with a Shiloh cheeks, not a puffy pregnazone face.

MItch Carmody:

And he looks a little puzzled, you know, and he said, well, I don't

MItch Carmody:

remember much of it anymore, dad.

MItch Carmody:

And I said, that's okay.

MItch Carmody:

Some other people do or whatever.

MItch Carmody:

I can remember what I said, and then he disappeared, but it was just the

MItch Carmody:

happy look, but yet puzzled, like why is this woman asking, you know,

MItch Carmody:

it's this thing, like, this is normal that we should be talking together.

MItch Carmody:

He and I, and that was just so I love that.

MItch Carmody:

And that's the only few seconds that I had of seeing him...

Marshall Adler:

wow

MItch Carmody:

Because I always heard in all the dreams where people would

MItch Carmody:

talk about that usually, especially with kids' dreams, when they see somebody.

MItch Carmody:

If they come in the age that they were the best, they'll see grandpa.

MItch Carmody:

When he graduated, when he got out of the service, not when he

MItch Carmody:

got out of the nursing home, they will see people at their best, not

MItch Carmody:

at their worst in their dreams.

MItch Carmody:

And maybe if there's a nightmare, people see them at their worst.

MItch Carmody:

I don't know, but I never had any dreams of him in the hospital

MItch Carmody:

or anything at his worst or how often he looked toward the end.

MItch Carmody:

I saw him as a full flood bustling teenager, and that felt so good.

Marshall Adler:

Wow.

Marshall Adler:

That's great.

Marshall Adler:

Well, I cannot thank you enough for being a guest and telling us these incredible

Marshall Adler:

stories, because you know, sometimes you go through the grief process and

Marshall Adler:

especially when you see signs, you think yourself to that just happen.

Marshall Adler:

And when somebody else sees it happen, it's actually sort of good

Marshall Adler:

because there's a confirmation.

Marshall Adler:

It just wasn't you.

Marshall Adler:

Going off the radar screen.

Marshall Adler:

And we've had multiple, multiple, multiple issues with, especially with

Marshall Adler:

the lights and, and things like that where Debbie, my son, David, our nephew,

Marshall Adler:

Russell, we've all seen these things in.

Marshall Adler:

We've all been there.

Marshall Adler:

We're looking so we're all awake, right?

Marshall Adler:

We're not dreaming now.

Marshall Adler:

We're all awake.

Marshall Adler:

This is not a dream.

Marshall Adler:

We're having it.

Marshall Adler:

We're saying we all saw this.

Marshall Adler:

Right.

Marshall Adler:

And we all say what it was.

Marshall Adler:

And it was exactly what we thought it was.

Marshall Adler:

So hearing it from you have obviously done such a great job documenting this.

Marshall Adler:

I mean, you really like pay experts with this field, which is amazing,

Marshall Adler:

which is just fascinating to me because again, three years ago,

Marshall Adler:

I would've said it's interesting, but I don't necessarily believe it.

Marshall Adler:

I absolutely totally completely believe it, but not as a matter of faith or

Marshall Adler:

wishing, but to me, it's empirical evidence that I've seen with my eyes.

Marshall Adler:

I'm a very cynical guy.

Marshall Adler:

And I just think the, it is what it says.

MItch Carmody:

I invite cadacisim I love cyndacism . it gives, it gives more

MItch Carmody:

validation to the reality of something.

MItch Carmody:

When you have a cynical view, you know?

MItch Carmody:

Yes, no.

MItch Carmody:

Yeah.

MItch Carmody:

Prove to me doubting Thomas or whatever in the Christian Bible, you know,

MItch Carmody:

probably that domain, you know, so yeah.

MItch Carmody:

I know I love that because it just makes it more valid and, and,

MItch Carmody:

uh, I say, that's why I wanted to keep doing this part of the work.

MItch Carmody:

But even though I said, I would do to start doing less and less whispers of

MItch Carmody:

love and more about proactive, grieving, because I was under the impression

MItch Carmody:

that most people there's books about it all over the place now, and people

MItch Carmody:

have wanted me to write a book and I said, you know, running a book, it's

MItch Carmody:

like a man giving birth to a baby.

MItch Carmody:

I, you know, I did it, you know, I've done it twice.

MItch Carmody:

You know, and I'm going to do a third one, but it's going to take forever just

MItch Carmody:

cause I'm joined the dialogue with Kelly.

MItch Carmody:

I may not even publish it.

MItch Carmody:

I just want to write it because we're, we're conversating, you know, I'm

MItch Carmody:

loving that, but to actually publish it again, I don't and, and whispers a

MItch Carmody:

lot of now it's become almost a term and people are talking about it more.

MItch Carmody:

You're, you know, embarrassed by it.

MItch Carmody:

But yet there's still a lot of people that are on the house.

MItch Carmody:

So it's still an important subject to bring up.

MItch Carmody:

I, I just, I assuming everybody is on board with it now, but maybe they aren't.

Marshall Adler:

Well, you've got you're, you're such a great ambassador

Marshall Adler:

and you've got a great sense of humor.

Marshall Adler:

And I was going to tell you the end, you said a lot of, like, to

Marshall Adler:

me, you know, all my grandparents were Eastern European immigrants.

Marshall Adler:

My parents were first generation I'm second generation and

Marshall Adler:

they all spoke Yiddish.

Marshall Adler:

You mentioned a few Yiddish words.

Marshall Adler:

I don't know if you said for clamps to that yet.

Marshall Adler:

I mean, you've mentioned a few, you said you're side, you know, which it's

Marshall Adler:

interesting because to me, the one thing about Judaism it's it's it's interesting.

Marshall Adler:

My, my son David mentioned something.

Marshall Adler:

He said that, um, Matt's passing was probably the most Jewish thing that

Marshall Adler:

happened to our immediate family because the Jewish people have had such tragedy.

Marshall Adler:

I mean, you just, you look back through history and we went to Israel.

Marshall Adler:

I mean, you were saying the Matt's passing and, you know, we went to

Marshall Adler:

Massada thousand years mass suicide because they, they did the Jews

Marshall Adler:

didn't want to be taken by the Romans.

Marshall Adler:

And then you go through Spanish Inquisition and the crusades, the

Marshall Adler:

Holocaust is just, and a lot of tragedy, but out of that tragedy is always been

Marshall Adler:

a sense of survival and a sense of humor, which to me makes all of this journey,

Marshall Adler:

they were on this path of life worthwhile.

Marshall Adler:

And I think with you, I could really sense that a lot, you have a sense

Marshall Adler:

of survival and a sense of humor.

Marshall Adler:

That makes you a great ambassador to tell these stories.

MItch Carmody:

Well, thank, you know what I mean, people significant people

MItch Carmody:

like those puzzle pieces in the life, in our life that help us on this journey.

MItch Carmody:

And what's the term, is it be sharot be shout ? You feel like you've met this?

MItch Carmody:

Not necessarily a soulmate.

MItch Carmody:

And I think it's taken at some respects, but just that significant sole person

MItch Carmody:

that you're just supposed to meet that synchronicity or serendipity.

MItch Carmody:

And so I love the terms in the Jewish faith, you know, and,

MItch Carmody:

and I, I make small, still.

MItch Carmody:

Yeah, Ronnie Black and called me.

MItch Carmody:

He goes, you're the only non Jew that I know that makes smells.

MItch Carmody:

I said, I liked smells.

MItch Carmody:

I know it's good for you, you know?

Marshall Adler:

Well, we're all related.

Marshall Adler:

I said the, I said this joke before I said, you know, I had so many friends

Marshall Adler:

of mine that I grew up a Christian, whether Protestant Catholic, whatever.

Marshall Adler:

And I always say that, uh, you know, we gotta remember Jesus was Jewish.

Marshall Adler:

I said, the three ways, you know, Jesus was Jewish.

Marshall Adler:

Number one is that, uh, he lived at home until he was 33.

Marshall Adler:

Number two is he went to his father's business in number three,

Marshall Adler:

his mother thought he was, God, he didn't know he was Jewish.

Marshall Adler:

So we got to use his humor.

MItch Carmody:

Oh, you gotta use that humor fact, Ronnie Plotkin

MItch Carmody:

and the father of the penguin guy he's Jewish Jewish, you know?

MItch Carmody:

And he said, his son said my goal in life.

MItch Carmody:

He said, I want to be first Jewish Pope.

MItch Carmody:

So I've talked to him about something and it's Sitting Shivah and all

MItch Carmody:

of the benefits of that and that.

MItch Carmody:

And how do you say, uh, the, uh, uh, she, that they're just that, that, that love

MItch Carmody:

for humanity and for the infinity of God.

MItch Carmody:

And what does that, do you know how to say that?

Marshall Adler:

So DACA is, is charity and doing good things.

Marshall Adler:

So many of the Yiddish words is Hebrew.

Marshall Adler:

And then there's Yiddish and it's sort of written the same

Marshall Adler:

way, but they're different.

Marshall Adler:

You know, Hebrew is from thousands of years, ancient, you know, from,

Marshall Adler:

from Jerusalem and Yiddish is former German Eastern European.

Marshall Adler:

After the Spanish inquisition 1492, the same time were Queen Isabella was sending

Marshall Adler:

Columbus to discover the new world.

Marshall Adler:

She decided to throw out all the Jews and, and either two choices, he had to

Marshall Adler:

leave Spain or convert to Catholicism or the third choice to get killed.

Marshall Adler:

So a lot of the Jews immigrated to Eastern Europe, Germany, Poland,

Marshall Adler:

Russia, and they needed a language too communicate with each other.

Marshall Adler:

So Yiddish came out of that.

Marshall Adler:

It's a, it's a, it's a form of German.

MItch Carmody:

Okay.

MItch Carmody:

I didn't know the difference between what does that to cook Tacoma alum.

MItch Carmody:

I love that, but bandaid the world, whatever it is.

MItch Carmody:

I mean, what is it

Marshall Adler:

a lot of the old phrases?

Marshall Adler:

I mean, I, the ones that I, I I've said this before, you know, the high holidays

Marshall Adler:

are the most important part of the Jewish religious calendar and they have

Marshall Adler:

Rosh Hashanah, which is the new year.

Marshall Adler:

Then I'm here with David Toman and there's a part in there that I will

Marshall Adler:

read my entire life, which really resonated with me after Matt's passing,

Marshall Adler:

is that it's already written who shall live, who shall die the coming year.

Marshall Adler:

And as you get older, you know, you realize you're given so many breaths on

Marshall Adler:

this planet and when your breaths are up.

Marshall Adler:

You got no more breathing.

Marshall Adler:

We've all got that numbers of finite number for all of us.

Marshall Adler:

Some are longer, some are shorter and you know, it just shows you, it's

Marshall Adler:

not the number of breaths you have.

Marshall Adler:

It's what you do with those breaths and I think that's what all of our sons

Marshall Adler:

did the most with the breaths they had.

Marshall Adler:

And for that, we have to be thankful.

MItch Carmody:

Yes.

MItch Carmody:

And for the most part, typically when they go early, like that they've

MItch Carmody:

lived a life where they effective so many lives, they were shining star.

MItch Carmody:

People love them.

MItch Carmody:

They walk into a room, it would glow people said, my God there.

MItch Carmody:

And this is not just because it's our children, but I've talked to so many

MItch Carmody:

people that are worried that yes, that their friends would say that, no, my

MItch Carmody:

God, you know, when that walked into a room, have a buddy's smile right?

MItch Carmody:

So it's a special, yeah, and I I'm so glad we got to do this, but I gotta go

MItch Carmody:

check on my, uh, my smoking support.

MItch Carmody:

Okay.

MItch Carmody:

Is that legal?

MItch Carmody:

Is that legal?

MItch Carmody:

You roll it up.

MItch Carmody:

I'm in a condo and I, what I always say it's better to ask

MItch Carmody:

forgiveness than permission.

Marshall Adler:

Well, listen, thanks so much.

Marshall Adler:

I really enjoyed it.

Marshall Adler:

Stay safe and stay well.

Marshall Adler:

Okay.

MItch Carmody:

Thank you.

MItch Carmody:

Bye-bye bye-bye take care.

Steve Smelski:

Goodbye Mitch.

Steve Smelski:

And thank you for joining us today on hope through grief and our

Steve Smelski:

discussion on signs with Mitch Carmody.

Steve Smelski:

Please look for part one of this episode, episode 21, coming out

Steve Smelski:

with Mitch and signs next Thursday.

Steve Smelski:

And we'll, uh, part two of this signs with me.

Steve Smelski:

Carmody coming out the following Thursday on the following weekend.

Steve Smelski:

We'll release the video of these recorded sessions.

Steve Smelski:

So if you're very interested in the discussion on signs with Mitch Carmody,

Steve Smelski:

please check back on the YouTube channel and we'll have the videos available.

Steve Smelski:

So you can go back and actually see what Mitch was referring to.

Steve Smelski:

As we talked about signs during the episode.

Steve Smelski:

Thank you.

Steve Smelski:

Thank you for joining us on Hope Thru Grief with your co-hosts

Steve Smelski:

Marshall Adler and Steve Smellski.

Marshall Adler:

I hope our episode today was helpful and informative.

Marshall Adler:

Since we are not medical or mental health professionals, we cannot

Marshall Adler:

and will not provide any medical, psychological, or mental health advice.

Marshall Adler:

Therefore, if you or anyone, you know, requires medical or mental health

Marshall Adler:

treatment, please contact a medical or mental health professional immediately.

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About the Podcast

Hope Thru Grief
Our mission is to create a community to bring hope through grief. Providing healing through our first hand experiences. Each day provides us an opportunity to continue to heal, as we get to meet and help others.
Have you recently lost a loved one? Are you struggling with grief? Don’t understand why the world has moved on and you are stuck? Wondering what will help? Have you lost all hope you will get back to any kind of “normal”?

Hope Thru Grief features husband and wife co-hosts Steve Smelski and Shelly Smelski to discuss their journeys of grief, after losing their son and other family members. They have changed their focus in life since their son’s death and have been helping others to find the support and answers they have been searching for.

Expect the unexpected. Honest and transparent discussions will reveal things hidden and overlooked which are quite common in coping with grief. Steve & Shelly will interview people from all walks of life, sharing their journeys of loss, as well as experts on recovery and finding hope in a world that has been changed forever.

If you are struggling with your grief, let’s talk together about ways to find healing in your journey and make it more meaningful and life-changing.

New Episodes every Thursday morning.

About your hosts

Randy Magray

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Randy has been producing podcasts for a decade as a creator, writer, host, and post-production specialist. He currently is the Podcast Producer for Duck Duck Productions in Orlando Florida and has worked extensively with the Smelski's on Hope Thru Grief and their Jordan Smelski Foundation for Amoeba Awareness.

Steve Smelski

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